Big Rocks of Life

By Umesh Jain

In Stephen Covey’s book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (1990), one of the key factors is the ability to create habits, something we discuss all the time (Holistic Treatment Approach) by knowing what your priorities are. But what defines a priority? Everything, in its own right given enough time could end up being a disaster so everything seems to have the same weighting. It is a problem of perspective.

ADDers think they are doing things all day (Make a List) and they feel exhasted when the day is over but what is actually accomplished? I like the distinction between rocks, gravel, sand and water. In essence, if you put rocks in a jar and then fill the gaps with gravel, then sand and then finally water, then the analogy would be that it seems you can fill a day with lots even though it seems like there isn’t enough time (or room). That’s the obvious and WRONG answer. The RIGHT answer is that if you didn’t put the big rocks in first, you wouldn’t have got them in. The technical term for this is called “Opportunity Cost”. The highest value of your time.

ADDers avoid big rocks because they often involve conflict, being judged, the risk of failure, a disillusionment of purpose, a path down boredom, etc. Avoiding the big rocks is procrastination in its worst form. The person feels bad, demoralized, shaken and they are more apt to blame others or find excuses. Others around them are frustrated as expectations have not been met and there is a gradual wilting of trust.

But what are the “big rocks”? Essentially, they are anything that moves ones career forward. It’s noticeable. It is the catalyst that moves every other step. That’s why it is called a big rock. It can be something like getting a resume completed, making cold calls, getting invoices in or getting an application completed. In any case, it is the rate limiting step to forward progression. But don’t have more than two a day. Keep it simple.

But when the world all seems like it is one big rock after another; one crisis every moment then what? The individual has to make a decision as to what makes them feel better in their career. Because their career is tied to their self esteem. For a student, the big rocks are simple, school and homework. To an adult, it takes more self awareness to figure out but the outcome is the same, you feel good and sleep satisified.

What happens when they like juggling fifteen things at once and each is contributing to their career(s)? Then each of them deserves time in the day though, even then, there will need to be a weighting as to what needs to happen first. This is one of the most difficult things I see ADDers doing; overextending themselves and not being able to say no. Maybe that should be their big rock- saying no to some of the things they think are big rocks but are actually distractions.

So now with every decision everyone ask yourselves, “Is this a big rock, gravel, sand or water?” and when

you decide that the big rock is going to get done, the rest of the minuta in life just seems to get smaller. Do the big rocks every morning. Nothing else matters. The world could collapse around you and yet, you would not be shaken from this task. No phones, no pop-ups, no interruptions. It is the most amazing feeling in the world to know you have faced the mountain and it bowed down to you. You deserve to have this feeling every day! And if you face the mountain and you hear the voice of procrastination in front of you, then meds will take it away. The big rock is going to get done, one way or another. Your life is going to move forward. Hell or high water. Take charge!