Our Intentions and Code of Honor
TotallyADD members want more. They want more knowledge to understand their ADHD, more tools to manage their challenges, and more success in achieving whatever matters to them. This means that they are ‘stepping up’ how they participate. A member is transforming how they operate in life first and foremost by operating at a higher level with their fellow members.
- The member community is a private group. All identities are to remain strictly confidential, unless that member shares their information with other members. Anything shared in a private conversation or member only group is to remain confidential.
- Members agree to be honest, trustworthy, and respectful.
- Honesty: Members benefit most from the group and conversations through full and candid disclosure. Lying in a posting is strictly forbidden. If you’re worried about looking bad, relax, we’ve heard worse. In fact, one time I was…
- Trust: Personal and business information shared by members in Private Conversations is to remain confidential.
- Respect: Every Member is equally important and worthy, whatever their accomplishments, or their struggles. Your fellow members are to be treated with respect and courtesy both to their face and behind their back.
- Each member has a different history, a unique life situation and a particular combination of ‘symptoms’ or challenges. Each of us is at a different point in mastering our ADHD. Members respect where other people are. They do not bully, pressure or make others feel wrong. They do not brag about their accomplishments, or hide where they are struggling.
- The current scientific understanding of ADHD is, at best, limited. There is much controversy and disagreement. Members do not pretend to have all the answers. Rather we share what has worked for us. Or not worked. We are all on the same path, seeking to understand ourselves and master our mindset. We are fellow travelers and should treat each other as companions, not rivals. Therefore members are in a state of inquiry, open to change, and clearly understand that what is ‘true’ for them may not apply to others.
- A member, even if she or he is a doctor, will never advise another person to start or stop taking medication, decrease or increase their dosage, or switch to a different medication. We can share what works for us. But we will refrain from pressuring people to choose what we have chosen.
- Members know that this is a place to have fun. If you can’t laugh, there are 9,000 other websites with straight information. We find dry facts hard to remember, difficult to relate to, and… well, boring.
- By adulthood ADHD adults have found ways of managing their challenges — whether they know they fall into the spectrum or not. Some of these ‘coping strategies’ work well in the short term, but are not a long term solution. So, no member will promote the use of alcohol or illegal drugs.
- Please do not promote yourself, your products, or your services. If you have something valuable to offer the ADHD community, come to us and let’s talk, whether you’re an ADD Coach or an Accountant who understands ADHD and can help members with their finances. (Contact us at [email protected])
- Members do not undermine the community by reproducing material, downloading and sharing videos, making illegal copies of DVDs, etc. Send people to the store and let them purchase a legitimate copy. Doing otherwise means the person is starting from a place that lacks integrity. And it means we can’t sustain this community.
- Members use appropriate language. Some of your membership pals are teenagers. Take a second and find a better word. There are hundreds of thousands of words to choose from. Train your brain to think better, higher, thoughts. Anyone can swear. It takes some class to express your anger and frustration with elegance.
- Totally ADD was created to promote understanding and acceptance. That means being comfortable with other points of view. (which is not easy for some of us) Our own experience has shown that we can be as intolerant as anyone else, especially so around people who do not know much about ADHD (which includes most people). Members do not espouse political platforms, religious dogma, intolerance, racism, sexism, and every other ‘ism’ that leaves people feeling like ‘outsiders.’
- Members are dedicated to success, self-esteem and accomplishment. Members agree to help one another out when reasonable requests are made, and when doing so will cause no harm to themselves, their businesses, or anyone else. Conversely, members agree not to take advantage of other members, and to not ask for or borrow money or other material favors.
TotallyADD reserves the right to cancel an individual’s membership at any time if any of these rules are not adhered to.
Now go forth, have fun, laugh, cry, share and let’s change the world!
Rick & Ava Green