8 Responses to “Excuses”

1. 

   Rick says:
   

   February 25, 2011

   Hey John,
   It’s okay to feel awful when you recognize yourself in a video. But you can also realize it’s better to know. Because if you never realize what’s going on, you have zero chance of changing or transforming it. I have to say I get depressed sometimes too, but it’s better than the old way of being, where the problem was that everyone in the world was jerk.
   It’s the choice, as they say in the movie The Matrix, of Red Pill or Blue Pill. Choose.
   Living life oblivious to who you are and what’s in your way.
   Or knowing and getting past the embarrassment or anger and handling the parts that are most holding you back.
   One thing I’ve discovered is that small changes around key symptoms has made a huge difference. Other symptoms, like blurting out, well, I’m not gonna spend my time on that.

2. 

   zsazsa says:
   

   February 19, 2011

   Thank-you. I love hearing you say that to us. I tell my kids at school that if we know and understand why we are making mistakes (or poor decisions) we need to re-evaluate why we’re still making the same mistakes over and over. If second grade kids get it, why do we adults as adults not understand it? Knowledge is power. Knowing we have ADD is empowering!

   Knowing we have ‘it’ allows us to make better choicesbecause now we can factor in the ADD. We’re empowered by this knowledge to make good decisions. We’re our own worst enemies if we continue to wallow in the poor me, ADD victim syndrome.

   Huzzah!

3. 

   callmecrazy says:
   

   February 18, 2011

   Thank you.

4. 

   itsallgood25 says:
   

   February 16, 2011

   Is that an Apple II in the background? Is it even a color screen or Monochrome.
   Great video. I am using those excuses to not write a speech. Time to knuckle down

5. 

   Tim says:
   

   February 16, 2011

   Thanks Rick for your thought provoking video essay.

   Watching “ADD and Loving It” on television was the event that led to my diagnosis a few months later. I saw myself in the stories of relationship difficulties, unfulfilled potential, social awkwardness, depression etc. and for the first time my life made sense. My assessment, along with further reading, clarified that much of what I had done in life was strongly influenced by my undiagnosed ADD. In many ways I am very typical.

   So, I had an explanation but, always being the first to beat myself up, I started blaming myself for all sorts of events over many years which I had handled badly. It was only when I convinced myself that I really wasn’t fully culpable for behaviours caused (influenced by?) a condition that I knew nothing about that I could start progressing with my new knowledge. To a large degree, but not completely, I have accepted that I can excuse myself for the past and get on with the future.

   Now, post-diagnosis, when my ADD pokes out into life in a bad way I try my best to change my behaviour and apologise if necessary. I try not to be too hard on myself by reminding myself that I am not fully in control (yet), that it was the ADD, and that this is a learning experience. I do however, take ownership of my behaviour and try to do better.

   To me, the line between using the explanation of ADD in a positive way and using it as an excuse can seem rather fine at times. I think it would be foolish to expect anyone to immediately overcome all of the obstacles that ADD puts in front of us, especially after more that a few decades of living with it unknowingly. But, i would be even more foolish to make excuses as Rick describes because that stops progress right in its tracks.

   Tim

6. 

   John says:
   

   February 15, 2011

   These videos are killing me. I can’t watch too many because I see too many things that just bury me deeper and deeper. It’s depressing the hell out of me.

   But don’t stop, they’re very helpful… even though they’re making me feel awful.

   Thanks,
   John

7. 

   fidgit4 says:
   

   February 11, 2011

   I like this video, it covers something I (as an ADDer) try to teach my ADD kids. My ADD sister and I teach science at our homeschool co-op. One year one of the kids was messing around when we needed him to focus. He said “I can’t help it, I have ADD” We said,”so do we, that’s no excuse!” He didn’t try that excuse again! I will say, we try to keep the “boring bits” to a minimum in our classes ’cause we get bored fast, too!

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