Let’s talk humor, seriously.
By Umesh Jain
You have probably noticed that humour is an essential ingredient on Totally ADD which separates it from most of anything you will see related to a mental health issue. At Totally ADD we know that humour is an important and mature defense to deal with life’s pain and suffering. You can quote whatever cliché you want but the truth is that humour works. So we need to talk about it.
First let’s distinguish funny from silly. ADDers are notorious for doing the latter and, when you are a child, you will quickly become ostracized. As an adult, it is hard to do silly and make it work. Rick can do it because he is an experienced comedian as noticed here. Funny, however, is an important and extremely socially productive ability. To tell a joke or a riddle gains you friends and helps you put your life in perspective. Like an old photograph that brings a smile to your face, a good joke will pull you out of your blues every time. It is akin to a simplified version of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Really! Look for funny and you see it everywhere which is a counter to the depressed individual who seeks out negativism and, yes, sees that everywhere too. There is a quote I love which I believe goes, “The front page represents man’s failure, the comics and the sports section represents man’s joy”. It’s your choice. Doom and gloom on the front page or watch the Toronto Maple Leaf’s lose another game….er…is that the same thing?! Bad example. Watch Miami Heat destroy the competition. Now, that’s a thing of beauty.
So, this New Year, I would love the Totally ADD community to do two things:
1) post ONE Best joke (keep it clean) and
2) make a Joke Diary.
For the latter, make an album and look for something to put in every day. Make it your mantra. Doesn’t matter if you read it, saw it, heard it or imagined it but find one thing every day. And like a photo album, when you go back to it and reread your best material, you will always feel good. Guess what….if you look for funny, you will always find it. Let me get you started with my favorite joke.
“Why does a gorilla have big nostrils? Big fingers.”
Go ahead, laugh. Because, at the end of the day, a smile on your face, a joke to tell your kids or spouse, a belly laugh that makes you pee or a chuckle that you can pass to a friend is a wonderful thing to behold.
Happy New Year everyone. Think FUNNY.
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Ok, here goes:
A burgler breaks into a house, and as he’s ransacking the place he hears a voice say “Jesus is watching you!”
He panicks, looks all over, sees a parrot. Again, the parrot quips “Jesus is watching you!”. He brushes it off, it’s just a parrot, and goes back to stealing things.
He turns a corner, ans suddenly comes face-to face with a HUGE dog.
Just the, the parrot says “Get ‘em, Jesus!”
I was in my local workout place in the changeroom and was the only one in there.
Had taken a shower..was getting dressed and couldn’t find my other shoe…
No one else had been in there all morning……….
I sat and started laughing like a loon…thought about someone walking in on me with one shoe in my hand laughing like I lost my mind and it made me laugh even harder!
Now that think about it, this joke is perfect for us…
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Where you left him!
Two cows are talking in a field.
Cow 1: What do you think about this Mad Cow Disease?
Cow 2: Doesn’t bother me. I’m a helicopter!
There’s tremendous humour to be found in bad poetry. I have a little book of hilarious and cringeworthy examples of the genre (including a few from some very well-known poets), called “Very Bad Poetry” (compiled by Kathryn & Ross Petras).
I also write my own Very Bad Poems. Here is one of them:
En Passant le Temps Avec le Vent
See the passing wind, rushing through the trees
Know the passing wind is but a fickle breeze
Feel the passing wind rustle hair that’s thinned
The greatest pleasure of my life is simply
Passing wind.
@Larynxa, that’s a good one, too. Thanks, guys! Needed the laugh. You’re right. It really is the best medicine
@Kc5jck:
ROTFLMAO!!!! OMG, that is the funniest thing ever. Do you mind if I repost that? That is so awesome!!!
Here’s my best joke. Came from my kids:
Why did the toilet paper roll downhill? To get to the bottom.
That’s all I got at the moment. Nothing nearly as genius as “The Purina Diet.” Still laughing!
kc5jck, that was brilliant!
I am the joke. It took a long time to be able to laugh at myself. Like the book, “I could change the world if only I could find my car keys.” With laughter comes forgiveness. My wife doesn’t get annoyed any more about my driving. She just sees that I’m in the go-home groove and reminds me that we were actually heading to the grocery store. She has the patience of a GPS. Everybody rolls their eyes at my ideas and I laugh at them too (except for those special times when my idea actually happens to be a good one — and I can laugh all the way to the bank.)
Every so often, my mom has a flash of sheer, evil genius.
A few weeks ago, my parents went to see a show, and the women sitting behind them wouldn’t shut up. Finally, my mom turned to my dad and, in a stage whisper, said, “How long do you think it’ll be before they find the bodies?” Dad gave her a weird look and thought, “What the hell is she talking about?”.
A few seconds later, Mom continued (also in a stage whisper) with, “Do you think they suspect that we were involved?” And Dad shot her another weird look.
After that, those women behind them were too scared to say another word until the show was over…and took off before the curtain calls were done!
Funny (weird? or haha?
) that you posted this just now, because I’m planning on starting a new comic/blog about ADHD in the next week or so. I’ll post a link to it on the forums once I’ve got it up and running. Thanks for all you do, TotallyADD!
I Can’t resist, sorry.
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s *** and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.
Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
My favorite joke only makes sense if you’re a Futurama fan: “Bender, if this is a scam, I don’t get it. You already have my power of attorney!”
That is a fine idea. I have started to avoid news because it is mostly doom and gloom that is either depressing or madening .. why bother messing my head up even more.
“I like As Good As It Gets” entertaining and a good upside . Thanks Rick