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Making the Holidays a Vacation

December 15, 2011

By Rick Green

Discovering you have ADHD or ADD is always a bit of a shock. Whether you get the diagnosis at age 8 or 80. But I’d wager there’s more emotional crap to deal with if you’re at the 80 end of the age spectrum. I was 47.

The emotional stuff that comes up, like the symptoms of ADHD/ADD, also span a spectrum. Yes, there’s relief and empowerment. Even hope and excitement. But discovering this is what’s been going on for your whole life, and you just found out now… Should you be surprised that you’ll feel anger, frustration, regret, sadness, fear of what’s next, embarrassment, concern, doubt, shame, guilt? How many of those did you experience?

So here’s a suggestion. For the holidays, put aside those thoughts. When you’re mind goes there, let them go. Deal with it in the New Year. It’ll be there, waiting for you. I promise. All of it.

In fact, if you focus on having fun, you’ll come back to the emotional stuff in January and perhaps notice it’s not quite as raw and deep. How is this done? It’s kind of simple. But tricky to do. Like shooting a 3 pointer in basketball, “Just throw the basketball from here and have it drop right through the hoop over there.” But it can be done. Simply say to yourself, “I’ll mourn and grieve later.”

When you start to feel bad, notice it and then let it go, put it aside, even write it out if you have to, then focus on something positive. Something you love to do. Or someone you love. It sounds silly, but it works. You can control thoughts. It takes practice. But what the heck, this is a good place to start. Know that you won’t forget it. And if you do forget about some of the bad stuff, that’s good. Experts says that’s what the brain tends to do anyway, viewing the past through rose-coloured glasses.

So let go of the negatives, the anger and upset, for a few weeks. Take a vacation from it. And come back to it in the New Year. In January, when you step back into the negative stuff, I’ll give you some tips that helped me keep moving forward. In fact, they’re shortcuts to speed up the process. (Yay!)

And if you get tired of watching Frosty The Snowman again, check out my Holiday Rants! (Rant 1 and Rant 2!)

3 Responses to “Making the Holidays a Vacation”

  1. Larynxa says:
    December 16, 2011

    You need to find a new doctor, as soon as possible. By refusing to even consider that you have a debilitating condition, which is 100% real and proven to be so by medical science, your doctor is shirking her duty of care. Worse, she’s violating the Hippocratic Oath.

    You don’t need to wait for an appointment with a psychiatrist. Besides, that psychiatrist would probably only refer you to a psychologist for testing. It’s a screwed-up world when psychologists have to do all the testing, but you need a psychiatrist (or doctor) to actually prescribe the meds. Are you in Canada? Because psychologists are not covered by your provincial health plan, you can usually get an appointment with one very quickly. Just be sure to find one that specializes in ADHD (ideally, in adults).

  2. Barb13 says:
    December 15, 2011

    OOPS! Pushed the wrong button there. and it is all mixed up too. Darn. I really don’t know how that happened. So Sorry. Please help. By the way in the previous message… after university students but (cancel the but) and skip down to every day. I …” you get the picture, So carrying on, I told my doctor I have 95% of all symptoms and have had them all my life as I reflect back. Only now that I am aging I believe my symptoms have become uncontrollable and I would like to try medications to help me focus (to not have to retire in the next year . She asked my what drug I would like to try and I could not respond. Has anyone else ever had to pick their own
    drug? What if it is the wrong one? I would wait for the psychiatrist to decide but I don’t have that much time, possibly? Comments appriciated.

  3. Barb13 says:
    December 15, 2011

    Hi All, My first day at the zoo! I realized my life has probably been an ADD nightmare for everyone in my life forever including me, myself and I, since Oct 6, 2011. I went to my doctor the following week who told me it is a hot topic as to whether it even exists as an adult condition but more likely just a means to not have to be accountable for my life choices. I am an uncontrolled diabetic (uncontrolled) twenty years now, and not for the lack of trying, and trying and trying ….. I am a professional in the Education industry working with university students but
    igress, again . . . I returned to my doctor again and explained I have read about ADHD and have questions, again she told me she wants nothing to do with this and referred me to a Psychiatrist for diagnosis. In our area, it takes approx. 6 months to see a psychiatrist., but that is not the problem. I am 60 years old, uncontrollably distracted at work, and at home, my memory is slipping faster every day and I told her I didn’t care about a diagnosis

    every day. I have been successful, respected and always hopeful for the future. I have

    managed to adapt to all life has given me, but the ah ha reaction I experienced that day was so liberating. I believe now after researching this disability ( I daresay)

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