Relationships & Support
How your spouse, family and partners can support you, and how you can empower them. Plus the strain ADHD puts on relationships.
Movie Night
February 25, 2011
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We get overwhelmed with choices… so why do I resist letting someone else pick the movie? Control freak and indecisive. Not a good combination.
What’s even worse? Having to decide between VHS or DVD or Blu-Ray and wide-screen or letter-boxed… Ha ha!
Best tip I got about this? After you get to three you like, stop adding more choices, and just choose one of the three. Yes, there might be something 4% better. But so what? I may get halfway in and think, “It’s not as good as I heard…”
There are no wrong choices. Moby Dick is a good book. So is Jane Eyre. So is The Shining.
Boy, we struggle with commitment.
Same scenario at the video store: nothing on TV (after having gone through all channels a couple of times and looking at the schedule even!) then walking through the video rental isles totally at a loss. I usually end up with some lame movie that is of no interest to my spouse!
That was me last night. I could not decided on what to do. Decided to watch a movie. There was tons of movies to decide from. Picked on movie about ten minutes later, started another, and so on. When I finally picked a movie, I fell asleep watching about ten minutes into the movie.
OMG BILL IS EXACTLY LIKE ME! what to choose from oh u know when you were flipping throught the tv i heard the red green show! it really interesting all there contraptions and stuff just lying around in his house like a mouse head! how awsome is that!
I have to agree on the VHS thing
Being able to see all the sides of an argument leads to paralysis. As Dr. J has pointed out, clutter and hoarding are about being unable to make a decision. Maybe that’s why we do well under duress, cause we’re forced to decide, and the rush of adrenaline makes it easier.
Hmm. That explains why I choose vanilla ice cream at the Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors. And, why I always end up buying nothing when I try to buy clothes for myself.
Dear Bill,
I’m buying you Netflix for Christmas.
The VHS tapes shocked me.
Love,
Aerin
I’m dreadful at making a decision when the outcome isn’t all that important, and limiting options doesn’t always work. I was once so torn between 2 choices for dinner that I was getting VERY stressed, in the most unhealthy way. Ultimately, I picked neither and took a bath instead! Felt much better afterward
Ended up deciding on dinner after I’d broken the panic loop.
This doesn’t just apply to choosing a video.
Researchers have just released the results of their study on Speed-Dating. Apparently, many people are so overwhelmed by the variety of choices, that they can’t make any choice at all.
http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/948310–too-many-choices-a-bad-thing-for-speed-dating-study-says?bn=1
Naturally, the owner of a Speed-Dating business refutes the findings.
This explains why some students who have ADHD have difficulties starting and there for completing essays and presentations. I like the idea of a time limit on choosing a topic. It is a really good idea for many students, even those who do not have ADHD.
Wayne McFarlane
P.S. Rick, you get a channel that still shows “The Frantics, Four on the Floor”? I need my Mr. Canoehead fix
I suffer from this all the time. Ordering food at restaurants, choosing a book to read, or recent experience buying a Car. I am so worried that I will make the wrong decision that I feel compelled to consider everything and consult reviews, other people’s opinions, etc. It takes a long time to make most decisions.