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No Problem
March 16, 2010
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You’ve made some good points and, of course, I agree with them.
Replying “no problem” really does imply that the request might have been unwelcome had it been “a problem”. Should you ask difficult things of your friends sometimes? Yes, that’s what friends do and those who are asked, do what they are asked, within reason of course, with generosity. It’s a gift and as a friend you are happy to reciprocate when needed. NP turns this around in a passive aggressive way and definitely implies that difficult requests should not be made.
The other points about giving and accepting speak very strongly to me. I was very much a social outcast as a child. I learned that to be emotionally safe it was best to hide inside myself because otherwise I would either be taken advantage of when I gave or gifts to me would have strings. These emotional lessons are hard to overcome and, in spite of having wonderful friends who have given me more than I can ever give back, it is still hard to trust. That being said, I have made a lot of progress and life is much better because of it.
Aside from any influence from “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose”, I’ve always viewed it as a Canadian thing.
We’re SO polite, we don’t like to impose on people to have them help us. When someone says “Thank you.” and you say “Not a problem.”, what you’re saying is “It wasn’t an imposition- I was glad to help.” You’re assuring the person that you were not, in fact, inconvenienced by their request.
Like:
“No really, it didn’t trouble me.”
“Are you sure? I’m so grateful.”
“Seriously, it wasn’t a problem.”
“I owe you one.”
“No, really, it was no trouble.”
“Here, have ten bucks.”
“STOP IT. IT WAS OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART, DAMMIT!”
“I MUST REPAY YOU OR I WILL WILT IN SHAME.”
Okay, maybe not like that. But close.
I agree with the manners thing. x