Sarcasm: Is it humor or is it anger?
By Umesh Jain
Well, of course, sarcasm is a thinly veiled way of expressing anger through the disguise of humor. However, it is very destructive particularly when expressed towards children. Kids might be smart enough to get sarcasm but it is really hurtful. And words can hurt. Silliness, by comparison is more akin to fear and embarrassment, also disguised as humor. Being a goof still doesn’t get you friends just as much as sarcasm does. Most of all, sarcasm is confusing- are you happy with me or what? This is often referred to as the double bind and it creates an emotional tension, akin to verbal abuse. Really! It can be that bad.
Why do people use sarcasm? Sarcasm is not wit. Sarcasm is a coping strategy to express what they feel much like other non-verbal ways of communicating anger (like rolling eyes, dismissive sighing or looking at your watch expressing impatience). It is important not to use sarcasm to express oneself but come true to your feelings of what is happening. Sometimes, there is never a nice way to express anger but sarcasm is like rubbing salt into someone else’s wound. Try this one on, “When did you stop being so stupid?” Is this a complement? Don Rickles, the master of the one line sarcasm, makes people laugh. But would you want to be at the end of that snake tongue? Painful, yes, funny, yes, as long as it is not you.
Isn’t a little sarcasm OK? It might be, if you were watching a sitcom because you are not at the butt of someone’s barbs but, in real life, it is not pleasant. Humor is good. Sarcasm isn’t. I’d like to hear from people about their perceptions. I do appreciate your humor from past sessions. Heard some very good jokes. Keep them coming.
11 Responses to “Sarcasm: Is it humor or is it anger?”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to comment
-
Recent Blog Posts
- Your Roving Psychiatrist – Mexico
- The Comics + ADHD
- In The Abyss or In The Zone
- ADHD & Athletics: The Roving Psychiatrist
- A Bike Wheel Is Like A Doughnut
- The Power of Mentorship
- A Bicycle Built For Two…Hundred
- Favorite/Mantra Words Part 5 – Rules
- How I Did The Hardest Thing I Ever Did
- Favorite/Mantra Words Part 4 – Busy
- Pedal To My Mettle
- ADHD Down Under
- Making A Good Thing Better
- Your Roving Psychiatrist- Melbourne Australia
- Some Coaching About Coaches
- Favorite/Mantra Words Part 3 – OBEY
- The Detail Everyone Conveniently Overlooks – Part 2
- The Detail Everyone Conveniently Overlooks – Part 1
- Mantra Words Part 2 – “Deliver”
- No, no! I know!
- Favorite Words
- My Life On Hold
- I know better
- Happiness is…. Love
- Yes I’m a Yes Man
- Happiness is…..great sleep
- The ADHD – Tennis Matrix
- Happiness is a warm puppy
- THE UNIVERSAL CHALLENGE
- Can there be such a thing as too much happy?
-
Blog Categories
-
it is funny , i grew up with sarcasim. i could not understand it, but i knew it was something bad and hurt me. but i could not do it myself or understand what it meant. now, i am sarcastic and working on just saying what i feel without being mean. it is refreshing to just say what you feel without having to second guess yourself or hold back your feelings, which causes me to be sarcastic. i find if i just say what i feel. it comes out much kinder and straight to the point.especially if i use “i” statements. the person ususally ends up just staring at me then apologizing or talking about the situation.
Sarcasm is always used against someone…a negative thinly disguised as a positive humorous remark. Those “true” jokes couples in destructive relationships use against one another in public. Sarcasm is not funny to the victim. The same goes for a practical joke.
The only people truly amused in those situations is the person using the weapon.
Hi A non-sarcastic question .. is there a site manager or admin ?
There have been problems and they have been posted in the forums and no one
from the site has made an appearance to reply.
So far, trolls, spam, sig s copied and people concerned enough to hit ‘report’ only
there has been no answer.
Sarcasm is both humor and anger, enough concern to warrant writing and enough
insight to see the foibles … Satire is a more delicate device .. Sarcasm is not subtle.
So, before more members quit the site and voice their concerns, a little hands on might help.
Pink Floyd Lyric: “No dark sarcasm, in the classroom, teachers leave them kids alone… all in all it’s just another brick in the wall”
I have a love/hate relationship with sarcasm… I think it’ all about the sentiment behind it… As a device for humor or a way to give a different perspective on something – it can be great. But I’ve experienced it as a constant stream of complaining negativity, passive agressiveness and insulting killer of self esteem. Especially when used around kids who are too young to appreciate or even understand it. But with anyone, it can really be overkill if used as a way to make negativity sound witty. On the other hand there’s that gallows humor aspect that is kind of like having a sense of humor to help make a bad situation more palatable.
I guess what I’m saying is – there’s a place for sarcasm, and then there are situations where it can be really awful.
Dr. Jain, thank you for your analysis. I would, however, suggest one caveat. The English language is rife with sarcastic usage; it’s part of our culture. If I say “Boy, I bet Johnny loved that film,” I could be suggesting I really thought Johnny liked it, or I could be inferring that I suspect he hated it. Meaning would hinge on my inflection. British humo[u]r is extremely sarcastic. American and Canadian humor frequently is right behind. In fact, I suspect our love of sarcasm can make English a difficult foreign language to master, particularly with regards to listening and reading comprehension. This is not to say that your remarks are off base, just to suggest that sarcasm seems rooted in the Anglophone world’s linguistic DNA. We use it to be funny. We use it to be cool. We use it to attack. What this may say about us as a culture, I don’t know.
BTW: This propensity can make texting a dangerous sport. Without the accompanying spoken inflection often necessary to decrypt the “sarcasm code,” its not hard for somebody to put his foot in his mouth.
Dr. Jain, I very much appreciate how you have described sarcasm. I’m thinking of one person in particular who is constantly sarcastic and has been for a long time. I’ve always chalked it up to his deep seated insecurity.
Mcfarlane, regarding those straight “A” students, I went to a St. Patrick’s Day party hosted by a prominent attorney of Irish heritage and met the former high school teacher of this attorney. The former teacher made the observation that the straight A students he had taught didn’t achieve as high in the game of life as the B and C students. Further, he noted it’s the A students who seemed to end up working for the B and C students. I’m sure there isn’t any scientific proof that would back that up. It’s just the observation of one high school teacher over decades of teaching.
When I went to high school a few not all straight “A” students who were academic snobs used sarcasm as a way to put me down. I had difficulties in school because I have dyslexia. In a put down tone in their voice they would say things like, ” Are you suppose to be in this class?” and “So you passed a test?” If I responsed with a raised voice the academic snobs would state I was over reacting or freaking out.
This problem should be addressed in our education systems.
All students (even the academic snobs) are our future.
Wayne McFarlane
So much of today’s TV & movie “comedy” is like the earliest silent comedy films. Those films are so filled with mindless anarchy and cruelty that many of them are almost unwatchable today, because of this cringingly inappropriate content.
Sure, Mack Sennett was the King of Comedy at first, but as movies (and comic tastes) became more sophisticated, he became a relic of a far more primitive time. And it only took about 10 years for this to happen to him. I hope the same thing happens to all of today’s crappy, mindless, cruel “comedy”.
Larynxa is right, it’s like the three stooges except without the talent and without the humor.
Last night, I watched the 90th Birthday Tribute to Betty White. I was struck by how much it felt like television USED TO BE. So much humour…but all of it was in good spirit, intended to build Betty up, and make her feel loved and appreciated. And it had a script…and musical numbers…and everyone was dressed to the nines. It took writing and planning and rehearsal and a vast crew to run it. I felt so good watching it, and the warm glow lasted after it was done…
…until the show that followed it. That show was yet another “prank” show, in which the humour is mean-spirited, intended to make the target look stupid. It was mean and nasty and demeaning. It was also done on a shoe-string, with minimal writing and rehearsal and crew, and it showed. It was also hosted by Betty White, who instantly destroyed the good feelings I’d had about her just a few minutes earlier.
What the hell is wrong with people that they accept such cheap, nasty, ugly, cruel shows on TV? And they wonder why so many people decide that the way to solve their problems is to kill or humiliate other people.