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Life with ADHD – Help! I Can’t Stop Talking! – Video

ADHD people love to talk.  Problem is, they can fail to notice that no one is listening.

There are many symptoms of impulsivity… One that is immediately apparent is…

“often appears to talk excessively”

UMESH
Hello, my name is Dr. Umesh Jain. ADDers love to talk. It is as if ideas pop into their mind and they have to let people know how important the idea really is. Now.  Right now.

The filtering process is not working well.  Friends and family may find it annoying, perhaps grandstanding or even grandiose. ADDers seem to want to tell you more than you need to know. Brevity is not a forte.

Hello, I represent the Church of The Saints Of The Tower Of The Saviour, and I have pamphlets here, our magazine, the Lighthouse, on the joys of salvation that await people who wear nice white shirts and spread the word…
BILL
Neat.  Why don’t you come in and tell me about it… Is this the Tom Cruise religion?
GUY
What?  No.
BILL
Okay.  Mind you, he’s a good actor.  I thought he was great in War Of The World, I mean he just played that blue collar thing really well.  I like that, though the gore at the end, I could have done without that.  And here’s the thing, okay, you know near the beginning of the film, when the lightning bolts hit the ground…
GUY
I never saw the film, our religion forbids us to…
BILL
Okay, well, there’s about fifty lightning strikes in one place, about three blocks from his house and he and about a thousand other people run over and look and there’s a hole in the ground, and then there’s this boom, and the ground shakes

ADDers sometimes don’t know how to censor their dialogue. When you are happy to just have someone to talk to, there is an overpowering dominance. The center of attention.
There is a happy playfulness. It might even be a bit silly or sarcastic. Sometimes people get it and sometimes they don’t. They can easily offend others with their brand of uncensored talk. The words just flow out like a tap that can’t shut off.

BILL
… when Christopher Columbus arrived, the native Americans couldn’t see his ships, they were right there, but these big ships were so alien to their experience, they couldn’t see them, until one of the medicine men, said, “There’s something there.”  Can you believe that?  It’s like religion in a way.  I dunno if the story is true or not.  But anyway, Tom Cruise and everyone ar erunning away, screaming and the huge alien machine is firing these rays and boom, people are just turning to dust, just evaporating, I mean, it’s like pow!  But I am thinking, this isn’t realistic…

UMESH
It is frustrating to have to hear someone who is so overpowering in their conversation that they may not let anyone else speak. But the speech is not like a bipolar person who speaks so quickly that the speech may be intelligible. It is not like the Asperger’s person who never maintains eye contact and doesn’t seem to have a personal connection. Bill is loveable, annoying yes, but loveable.

UMESH
ADDers get easily side tracked in conversation. Sometimes their speech is referred to as circumstantial as if they want to get to a point but in some round about manner. Sometimes the speech can be so off the target they stop themselves and ask,” now what was that question again?” This is called tangential speech.

ADDers aren’t lacking ideas, opinions or impressions. Bill was a “chatterbox” so his parents stated. It can be draining on a listening audience. They wear you out.

UMESH
You might try to get away but an ADDer loves an audience.

BILL
… here’s the thing that’s not realistic about the movie.   You got a thousand American’s running away from an alien machine, feeling for their lives.  And none of them are having heart attacks.  None of them are waddling along the way fat people do, and hey, 50 percent of Americans are obese, I mean, where are the fat people?  Five steps and they’re dying.  In real life the aliens wouldn’t need to fire a gun.  Just go boo, watch all the fatties run, and drop dead of a heart attack after half a block…

Silly, annoying, rude, uncensored talk. Too much information.  There is a time and place for certain things. ADDers never seem to pick the right times. They include too much detail and while there observations are often insightful, nay, brilliant at times, it’s just not appropriate for here and now.

In a different circumstance those observations could be considered inventive. One solution is for the person with ADD to give their friends and family permission to go, “Woah, off topic.”

If you want to know more about this and other useful ideas or suggestions, be a Member of the TotallyADD.com website. You’ll have lots to talk about.


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8 Responses to “Life with ADHD – Help! I Can’t Stop Talking! – Video”

  1. Rick says:

    I keep telling myself that what I’m saying is interesting. Which it often is. In fact, to me, it’s very, very interesting. And I assume that means everyone else will be interested. Which they often are not. (Or so I find out later.) Ha!

  2. sheilabridget says:

    I have many moments like this, and in my head I can see it happening. Some thing in my head says ‘STOP IT,….slow down and shut -up’.

  3. loraleigh740 says:

    I like to think of myself as a labrador retriever. Labradors have boundless energy and are extremely friendly. With proper training these dogs can be better behaved but if too excited they can jump up on people. Some people respond better to a playful excited 80 pound dog than others. The same it true for how people respond to a person with ADHD that is genuinely glad to see them. Most of my friends are comfortable with redirecting me or getting me to “settle” when excited. Others freinds have learned that by “throwing the ball” for me they get twice the work of a neurotypical person. Not everyone appreciates a good hunting dog.

  4. draegynn says:

    I can so relate!!!

  5. Makeover says:

    I have improved over time. I have learned to recognize another person’s facial/bodily cues, and I can end the conversation graciously. But when I meet someone who also loves to talk — well we just enjoy being our true selves.

  6. crinna says:

    to Evelyn: you should look into the newer recorders that will do “speech to text” i used one in college years ago and with a little practice it works fairly well. Any mistakes it made were less than my already horrible spelling.

  7. ohalloran says:

    I have known that I tend to talk too much for a very long time. When I can I try to censor myself. Most times when I get the people at my door trying to recruit me I shut them down and shut the door. One time a pair of Jahova Whitnesses came to my door and I was starved for a philisophical discussion. I let myself go at them. Funny thing is I do not recall ever having to deal with anyoone selling their faith for the rest of the time I lived there.
    I have become I now tell those selling their faith that I am a devout agnostic and they usually leave me alone.

  8. Evelyn says:

    First I learned a long time ago people didn’t want to hear what I had to say. And I stopped talking to people. That’s when I started writing. I found the paper would always listen. But I developed a distaste for detail. It gets very tiring and daunting to write out detail, audio tapes and voice recorders build up files fast. but as with paper I didn’t go back to them. I may learn to be balanced with my writing though. This website and all the wonderful people I’ve met have given me back my voice, and the patients to write, with some detail, ok sometimes to much detail.