Because ADHD is so highly heritable (Sorry, son,!) I suspect every parent with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder experiences the guilt that haunted this couple, “We gave him this disorder.”
But there is, potential, a silver lining. There can be Pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow, or at the end of the dark, long dark tunnel. Dr. Declan Quinn shares his favourite story about a father and son, who turned what had been a curse into a blessing. One that a doctor might never have thought about or asked about.
And the other reason that I really like the adult studies and working with adults, some amazing stories come back. The best one of all was a dad who came in, took about four years to get his kid on medication. They were not going to do it. So we showed them on a computer test it was gonna work, and he said okay we’ll try it, and they came back and they said this is great. Then they felt very guilty you know, because I had said you didn’t cause this, you’re a fantastic parent you brought your kid here to see me. Your child’s really very lucky “Yeah Dr. Quinn we didn’t cause it but we gave it to him genetically”
That was difficult so we had to deal with that whole grieving issue and you don’t learn that when you’re seeing the kids so much. So anyway about a year later the dad comes back and this dad took a long time to get his qualifications and very successful academically now but it took a long long time. Oh twice the length of time. So he participates in a clinical trial from me for ten weeks and he comes in at the end of the study and he said.. he’s not a clinician he’s doing arts, he’s got no science background, hates it, and he says whoever designed this study was very clever.
I said why? he says well ten weeks is about enough. I said ten weeks for the study? Yeah he said look finish your stuff and I tell you what exactly was good and what was bad. So ten weeks was perfect because I don’t need to take it seven days a week. It’s more like asthma with me I used it like an inhaler for certain things. Don’t have to do it all the time but the most important thing that’s happened in my life, that you guys never asked about, and you would never found out unless I told you, which I’m going to tell you now. So he said for years his son who didn’t go on medication would come in, try and get help with his homework, and of course dad was in the evening writing a paper. The son didn’t explain himself well, the dad didn’t understand, they got into an argument they got into a fight, and the boy was crying, then the dad was upset and then his wife is upset.
Then the boy would leave. The wife was angry and he couldn’t get back to work, and he said since I’ve gone on medication, the father, my son can come in to me. I hear him. He can’t explain himself, but I can have him explain himself. I help him, he turns around he gives me a hug and says thanks you’re the best, and he said I’ve missed that for 10 years. You know? So you get things from the adults that you can’t get from kids.
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