When I was first diagnosed with ADHD, I wanted help with time management, organizing, clutter, scheduling, and so on. The ‘logistics of life.’
Mastering these ADHD challenges is an ongoing project. Always improving. Never perfect. My success requires an arsenal of mutually supporting tools. However when one strategy stopped working well for me, I would ‘try harder.’ And we know how that works.
After you are first diagnosed and suddenly have an explanation for why life is such a struggle, you may be eager to share your good news. But beware, disclosing your ADHD can trigger unexpected hostility or dismissive score, and lead to costly repercussions.
It’s been said that many ADHD adults are kind-hearted, generous, eager to please, and fiercely loyal when they are appreciated, understood, and acknowledged. The challenge for their partners and colleagues comes in trying to understand, “What were you thinking?”
It may seem like the ADHD person is thoughtless. The opposite is true. They are actually so overwhelmed by thought, with so much going on in their heads, that they fail to notice what’s going on around them. They unwittingly leave a trail of destruction or chaos in their wake. And never notice.
It’s not selfishness. You might call it being self-absorbed. But that would suggest there’s some element of choice.
When you’re always doing, always going, always thinking… taking the time to pause and look around simply isn’t on the ADDers radar.