Coaches, Mentors and Partners

By Rick Green

ADHD and ADD present so many different challenges to adults. Sticking to it. Avoiding procrastination. Generating motivation. Stay on track. Creating achievable goals. (Rather than pie-in-the-sky dreams.)

This week (2012) I’m traveling.  I’m with our editor/jack-of-all-trades Jimi on a four day road trip to PBS stations in Boston and Albany, with a chance to sit down and do a long interview with ADHD legend Dr. Edward ‘Ned’ Hallowell.  We’ll talk to him about anger, ADHD in women, ADD & marriage, holistic strategies, and more. All bookended by 22 hours of driving.

This won’t be a vacation. But it will be fun.  And we’ll be working as we drive.  Multitasking.

Those 22 hours will be spent discussing videos we are working on, and our evenings will all be taken up with viewing footage for the website, making notes on the redesign of the websites, and more. Always more.

Since we have GPS and Google Maps, the biggest challenge is eating right.  And by right I mean well. Healthy.

In the past I have always viewed eating healthy when I’m zooming from one PBS station to another as either a challenge, because I’m spending hours in the airports.  Or punishment. “I’m on the road. I’m going non-stop, under stress, a new station every day, hours of travel, hotel rooms, waiting, when there’s time to spare I’m handling all kinds of stuff around the website and videos we’re making and…

Blah, blah, blah. Woe is me. Poor Ricky. Flying all over to meet great people on PBS stations and make a huge difference for hundreds of thousands of families. Tough life, right?

This trip is different. I’m not alone. Jimi will be there. A witness. Jimi eats well. (Damn.)

So suddenly I’m seeing an opportunity. Because I’ll have an ally who wants to eat well. (Jimi is half my age. And probably half my weight. And twice my IQ. But I’m the boss. So it works out.)

There’s something very powerful about having an ally. Or multiple allies. You know this if you’ve ever joined a class to get in shape, learn yoga, or lose weight. Or just had a partner who would go jogging with you.

But I have been reading a lot of the forums lately and suddenly it occurs to me I have thousands of allies. You. The members of TotallyADD. This amazing, kind, wise, supportive community.

One of the best aspects of a coach is having someone who has you make commitments and holds you to them. Even the process of deciding what you want to do between ‘now’ and the next coaching call is powerful. It helps you sort out what matters and set priorities.

I’ve got thousands of TADD friends who can hold me to my promise and help me achieve my goal. And actually, so do you. We’re here for you. So, I’m committing to eating well on this trip. And exercising every day. And stretching twice a day.

In one week we are moving into our new home. After two years of living in other people’s houses, and all our stuff locked away in storage.

So I’m going to need to be in shape. Or at least better shape than I am now.

Knowing you’ll be watching me is going to be very helpful. Traveling is going to make it hard. In fact, today, on our first day of driving, we were on an Interstate and running late, so we just ate at the service centers. Not great. A burger at one place. But no fries or pop! (I considered it. Jimi talked me out of it.) On the plus side we bought apples. Avoided donuts. Drank lots of water. And stopped every hour to 90 minutes for a stretch. You could hear our spines popping over the sound of the traffic.

So day one was challenging. Day two promises to be better. We’re in a nice hotel.

Oh, and feel free to make a commitment of your own for this week. Oh, and post it so we can support you. It doesn’t have to be big. Or dramatic. Just something that would make a difference and is achievable. Like me going a day without a donut, dessert or junk food. Oh, did I mention the slice of pizza? It was veggies? Is that okay?

10 Replies to “Coaches, Mentors and Partners”

  1. I’m not sure, LemonPan. Check with the station.
    It’s WMHT. Their number is (518) 880-3400
    And you can check their schedule here
    http://www.wmht.org/programs_tv.php

    This applies to most PBS stations. Although it’s a ‘television network’ it is more like an affiliation of educational stations. Some are huge, some are just a small operation attached to a university. They each run their ‘pledge drive’ programs according to their own schedule.
    When The Red Green Show was on PBS it wasn’t on every station. Especially in the big urban centres. Just google your location station, and type ‘ADD and Mastering It’ or ‘ADD & Mastering It’ into their search window. Some stations are running it this month. A lot will be running it in late November and into December.

  2. Great post! Hmm…commitment….how is that pronounced, exactly??? Okay, how about this…I commit to walking the dog. She needs it, and because exercise helps my brain, I probably need it, too. It’s so easy to get distracted, though, but I’m committing, so I gotta do it now, right?

    Hubby and I lost weight together, but since I reached my goal, it’s been harder for him. Go to http://www.myfitnesspal.com. That helped us. Tracks stuff like food, calories, and exercise. Free and easy to use on-line, or with the app, on a phone.

    Know what you mean about support. This site has been one gigantic support group for me, but less traumatic than the real one I attended, once. LOL! Maybe it’s because you all set this up with lots of humor, and so it’s actually fun to visit. There’s serious stuff, too, but really, the humor, and seeing the lighter side of ADHD, makes it easier to deal with the serious stuff.

    Thanks for your hard work on the site. It’s been a blessing to me, and I’m sure countless others. You are definitely making a difference.

  3. Oh, and as for the food. We ate badly on the first day.
    The second day turned out much better. Salad. Fish. A healthy breakfast of oatmeal. Lots of water. Veggies. A steak and veggies for dinner, and no dessert. Wow, this is turning into Facebook where everyone posts images of their lunch.
    Anyway, in terms of food, it was good.
    And the PBS taping went well. Though one person said, “You just got better with each pledge break.” Which makes me wonder how bad the first one was. Ha!

    Day three involves travel and rushing around. More of a challenge to eat right. If I fall off the wagon it’s Jimi’s fault.

  4. Thanks Geoduck.
    We need to hear that we are making a difference. So much of what we do goes out into the ether, onto the web, and we don’t know if it’s helping. And we want to know what is helping and what isn’t helping so much.
    Let us know. We can’t be offended. Unless you’re deliberately cruel. And I have friends and relatives for that, thank you very much. Ha!
    Love the commitment you made.
    Commitment is such a drab word though.
    Maybe we should say, “One action I’m choosing to make for myself…”
    One action I’m choosing to make for myself is to pick better food when the waitress asks, “So, what can I get you?” Hmm. Something occurs to me now.
    The eating better isn’t about making a promise now, right now, to do something tomorrow and every day for the rest of my life. Anything I say or think about now is not really that important. The important moment, the only moment that matters, is tomorrow, when the waitress asks, “So, what can I get you?” At that moment, that’s the choice… Healthy or junk. A split second.
    Hmm.
    So rather than spend hours revving myself up with thoughts of being slim and healthy and fit… Just remember when the waitress has her pen poised over her order pad, to choose something better.
    Wow. That only takes about two seconds out of my day.
    I can do that.

  5. Rick–
    Thanks so much for the response! I really appreciate it.

    I will call the station tomorrow. Right now I’m not finding it on their site and I don’t want to miss you!

    Thank you so much for this amazing site. Like I said, I only recently found it and already the videos and tips have been SO helpful!

  6. Its funny how you talk about mentors and partners. Im working on repairing my relationships with people because of my ADHD. I denied it so long, didnt take the meds that were suggested and have broken so many helpful relationships that now I am on the meds that are helping I am taken back with the things I did back then as well as the amount of stuff I have to do to catch up in my life. So many times the depression that comes from the failures get me down that i just gave up. It has taken me 4 years to get to where I am right now. The meds do help me to focus on solving problems and not just dig my holes deeper. A lot of people I have approched about my problem eather have been damaged by my previous behavior or dont believe ADHD is real. I still get the “Im alone” feelings. Especially when I havent taken my meds. How do you repair relationships after ADHD? How do you fight the depression that still sticks around? As for what I am doing to give myself confidence a boost, I am starting on my “base” list. I have never been one to make lists and if I do I really never have kept up with one. This time Im going to make it work for me. I will have a list of stuff that needs doing and my personal goal is to acomplish something on that list by its due date.

    Thanks Rick for giving us a place to be and openly talk about the issues we have. Your videos were a big insperation to get myself on the road to right. As much as I wanted to laugh when watching them there were a few that I cried because I knew that someone else besides me understood what I was feeling. If your ever in the New Orleans area stop by and Ill buy you a drink… a diet one if thats what you like.

  7. I was diagnosed 20 years ago and being a traveling rep, set up and appt with Dr. Hallowell. Unfortunately, days before that trip, his office called and canceled my appt so I never did get to meet him. However, I read and read Driven To Distraction, and always refer that book to anyone who has questions about ADD/ADHD. How wonderful for those who will get to meet Dr. H…I’m jealous!

  8. Rick,

    I’ve never been able to see the point in making a lot of commitments and when I’ve been herded towards one, because it’s the right thing to do, or what ever flavour of the month was going aorund it would leave me feeling angry because it was such a clear set up. To be able to do something, now and forever,each time it’s required has always been a great big “try harder”.

    I love the “one action I’m choosing to make for myself.”. It’s so healthy!!! I can do this. Rick, this helped.

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