Adult ADHD, ADD Blog
Adult ADHD, ADD and ADHD
This is GREAT! I often forget that I have so many positive traits within me. I’ve been ignoring them. Thank you do much for making this one. And I really like the last part: “All right, you have ADHD. But that’s okay, the world will be waiting.” It is beautifully encouraging.
The reason people with ADHD and dyslexia might describe a strength and then say “but” is because they are use to hearing a compliment followed with a “but”. Sometimes, It’s like they are patting us on the back and then kicking us in the butt.
Most married men know if your wife asked ” Do you like my new outfit?”, You do not say , “Yes Dear, but the shoe don”t go with it”
Your wife will be angry with you and will go out and buy three new pairs of shoes.
A compliment with a “but this would be better”, does not always encourage people.
Here is another example, a student who has ADHD and dyslexia has to do a presentation for a class. To get through the presentation and make it interesting the student shows some pictures and draw a labeled diagram on the board. After the presentation the teacher states “that was a good presentation and I would have given you full marks but you had spelling mistakes on your diagram.” Some people call this teaching. I call it being stuck up and ignorant.
Maybe the teacher should be thinking ” He did extra work by putting up the diagram and that took gutts with his dyslexia. That person deserves full marks.
All students are our future.
It amazes me that I can be confronted with something I “know” and recognize that I seem to have forgotten it. Dr Jain’s advice is something I have frequently given others but just can’t seem to apply to me.
Since my partner was diagnosed with stage four cancer, it seems like all I hear are negatives. BIG negatives. BIG, UGLY negatives. I can do nothing right including care for him… but no one has been willing to step up and help with that. What they ARE willing to do is criticize MY ability.
When all the feedback you get is basically telling you how awful you are, it is really difficult to see anything redeeming much less valuable in yourself.
I get Dr. Jain’s point. I truly believe it to be the right thing to do. I also think that there is an element of “easier said than done” here too.
Thanks Dr Jain. I needed to hear that!
Thanks for the pep talk. Dr. Jain, you rock! I love this site, and I loved watching the tv program over the weekend.
Now I just need some help organizing all the information in my brain so I can get my papers done for school…grad. school….
Maybe you guys could add a section on this site….Tips for how to organize your thoughts/information when writing a paper….THAT would be really helpful.
But it is definitely important (and helpful) to remember to give credit to what we are good at…especially when in a slump or stuck or struggling….
One thing I really love about this site is how both Dr. J and Rick tackle things from two different angles and attitudes that working together make me feel less messed up, and more positive about my fate and personality. Worst case scenario, I feel understood.
I keep making my list of strength but I keep loosing them…
I’ve only just discovered this site and I’m still hoping for something positive to come. My ADD is severe and I’ve spent many years vegetating, just waiting. I have a wonderful psychiatrist and ADD therapist, but I’ve never been successfully “coached”. Life is worth living, even in my middle ages. I need to know my strengths but , for now, I feel clueless. Help. Thanks.
Thank you SO MUCH.
It is so hard for me to focus on the positives, this really helps put things into perspective!
What’s interesting is how some ‘weaknesses’ or ‘challenges’ or ‘deficits’ can become a strength in certain circumstances. Overly talkative may be a problem at home, but not if you’re a teacher, DJ, or auctioneer.
I LOVE these ADDvanced info videos. Hope to see more more MORE and soon soon SOON!! 🙂
Such a sweet video. It made me giggle.
Thank you for this!! Recently diagnosed at 47, off on medical leave, stuck in my head & feeling paralysed, this has helped to pry me from my chair and make a positive list. I see this is like a fourth step, but I’ve been getting stuck on the negative stuff, and forgetting the positive….its all about the balance, and that’s what needs the focus. Thanks!!
Inspiring – thanks!
thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU mwaaaah
You are welcome. Your future lies in your strengths. Pick an athlete, say basketball player Kobe Bryant. Let’s suppose he’s got the same bookkeeping and accounting skills as me. In other words, close to diddley squat. It doesn’t serve him to spend time working his weakness, taking courses in accounting, buy accounting software and trying to ‘discipline’ himself into doing his taxes. He doesn’t lack discipline. The man practices B-ball for hours, honing his skills. That’s where his time should go. That is what will benefit him most. And his team. And his fans. And anyone who loves the game of basketball. And yes, he needs to have someone he trusts handle his paperwork and bookkeeping.
I watched the video perhaps sooner than I should have. I’ve convinced myself for so long that I have no strengths, and let myself get stuck at “but…” and started crying. What has helped since was taking the Virtual Test (even though I’ve been diagnosed). The list of potential strengths added to my profile afterward has been helpful, I needed a list that I could keep looking at to reflect on. From the list I’ve found 6 things I feel comfortable saying about myself, though I’ve always considered 3 of them to be weaknesses. I suppose I’ll have to work on adjusting my thinking after beating myself up for so many years.
I want to be able to say that I’m “Open and genuine”, I feel like the things I say to people are, sometimes maybe to much. My struggle is with whether or not you can truly call yourself that if you’ve been hiding part of yourself and suffering in silence your whole life, because that doesn’t feel very open or genuine to me. Maybe I’m over thinking it?
I cried from beginning to end of this video. As a new member to this site, I’m very appreciative. I’ve been diagnosed for several years, but at 59 years old, I’m not sure my self esteem will ever recover. I do believe I have those strengths, but do not believe they matter to others (especially at home and in the workplace–and I work in the mental health field) nearly as much as organization and time managagement skills. Try as I do, those things are my absolute downfall, and I continue to disappoint myself and those around me. I hope I can find some help here.
Dr. J – thank you!
I have to complain a lil bit about how hard it was to find this video!, There’s a new thread called
“Hoping other’s can add to the positive’s having ADD. Here are a few I have found” http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2715 It reminded me of the video “Your Personal Strengths” which I watch often, I’ve practiced being too hard on me for many years, so it’s necessary for me to watch this video to reverse the habit of not giving myself any credit. I wrote “give yourself some credit”on the lamp about 2 feet away from my monitor about 7 years ago, smart eh?. Looking for this personal strengths video, I had to watch at least 5 or 6 or Dr. Jain’s video’s. I couldn’t find my bookmark for it, I did remember it though, great me, huh?. Why isn’t it included with the rest of his videos?. It was just a lucky guess for me to click on “advanced videos” A video this helpful should be easier to find, don’tcha think?. Now I can stick a link to it on that thread. It’s a perfect video for that thread! Being so helpful is yet another one of my Personal Strengths 🙂 ***patting self on back***
I find lot’s of the good stuff that gets lost here, huh?. I should get some kind of reward for my kind hearted services and dedication to the improvement of totallyadd.com, make sense?. Maybe a check for, oh I dunno… fifty bux?. Yeah, that sounds about right. I shall wait for you guys to contact me so I can give you my home address. (to mail my check) I wonder how you guys were able to keep this web site alive so long without me. Will miracles ever cease?
Thank you so much, have a nice day.
Your friend and and gifted consultant
My suggestion is to rename this. You have Deficite and Disorder in the “label”. Why is this not.. focus gifting(refering to the depth ) creative, outgoing, etc etc all the true positive gifting.. choose the most common. Reference the galvanizing incredible gifting involved in the emergency related fields. These negative labels are what is NUTS, not the large group of people who, embody these talent/gifting areas. Who said the other is more/most deireable? Those who have the other? Thats like saying only those with top math skills should be given the best scholarships at our colleges, oh wait, that’s exactly what we do… REdefine! Give us back our skilled natural orators, our fabulous actors,artists,writers,athletes,first responders and heros..give them back with first rate confidence and self esteem. Who says constant motion is LESS than…turn it loose and let it create and produce.
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