Re: Will I survive?

[Anonymous]

Hang in there, it gets better. Humans generally have a problem with present continuous. We think things are the way they are forever. If it’s raining on Monday and I ask you what you think the weather will be this weekend, you will probably say it’s gonna rain. If it’s sunny, you’ll be an optimist. The same is true with weight, debt, smoking, and a million other things. It seems to be worse for negative issues with people with ADD.

About 7 years ago, I had over $100K in consumer debt, about $150K in student loans and in a deep depression. My debt was higher, but so was my income. The closest I ever came to suicide was when I sat down to do a budget for myself. I thought it was hopeless, but it’s not. After a lot of hard work and time, I got consumer debt free (still have the student loans) last year and my wife and I bought a great house. We’ve got consumer debt now, but it’s sensible, purposeful and manageable.

I can’t promise this will work, but it’s worked for me and a few of my friends:*

Do your best to consolidate your debt (but not with one of those shyster debt consolidators–do it yourself). It will be hard with a bankruptcy, but find a low interest credit card if you can, and put as much onto that as you can. Call your credit card companies and ask for lower interest rate in exchange for either transferring a balance to them or giving up the card (converting it into a loan that you pay off ). Most card companies would rather do this than either lose a customer or take a bath if you default. You can also try to get an unsecured debt consolidation loan from your bank. Work with your existing card companies first, so it doesn’t look like you’re panicking and desperate for credit (when you apply with a new company, they will pull your credit and it will show up on your file. Existing companies usually don’t have to).

Pay off your highest interest debt first, and pay the minimum plus $1 on everything else (some credit card companies have three categories of payers: less than the minimum; just the minimum and more than the minimum. Paying a dollar more puts you in their top category and more likely to get better offers). It’s hard with ADD, so try to set up an automatic payment from the account where your check is deposited.

Take a different credit card and use that for groceries, gas, phone, and everything else you need to spend money on regularly. Pay that off every month. If you’re living within your means, this will not be a problem. You will spend the same amount of money, but doing this will (1) rebuild your credit and (2) earn rewards points, which you can cash in for either cash or retail gift cards. I started off with a 575 credit rating and topped out at over 800 last year. It’s not magic and it’s not get rich quick, it’s hard work and planning.

Rearrange your life to minimize your recurring expenses. This is painful at first, but I was making $125K a year, drove an 88 mercury, and shared a $450 apartment in Queens (for those who don’t know, this is like a $200 apartment anywhere else in the US). (If you go by societal norms (25% of salary towards housing), I should have been living in a $2500 apartment). Go to Costco or Walmart and buy the generic.

It’s not glamorous, but neither is spending yourself into depression. It sounds like you’re already there if you’re fixing your own tires, but look at the rest of your life and find places to cut. Realize that this is temporary, and look forward to what you will be able to do with all the money you’re using to pay down your debt. A good book for perspective is Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Take what works and leave the rest. To tell the truth, even now that I’m (mostly) debt free, I prefer the generic, I drive a car that is 1/3 of what I can afford and my new house is just what we need, nothing more. I’ve realized this is what wealthy people do–they treat needs as needs and cut the cost as much as possible. Nuts are nuts, buy the store brand.

I hyperfocused on my debt. I created spreadsheets projecting my payoff date. Then I imagined what I would do with that extra money. When you’re paying almost $2000 a month in debt–that’s a lot of freedom when you’re debt free. It’s motivation when you’re not. I’m realizing that my ADD means I have to get emotional to get started. I would draw on what I could to get and stay on task. I looked at my debt as a dragon I had to slay, and every month was a slash into it’s lizard skin. I would take 90% of my after-tax bonus every year and hit the dragon over the damn head with it. (The other 10% was my reward).

Speaking of, pay yourself an allowance every month/paycheck so you can buy dinner, go to a movie or buy a gadget. If you don’t, you’ll go nuts and wind up spending more. Sway with the breeze, don’t snap in the wind. I started out with a stipend of about $200 per month, but it will depend on where you live, what you make and your patience.

The tithe is up to you. Do what you can to help others, but not at the cost of your own life and health. If you cannot afford the tithe, consider volunteering. A good friend of mine volunteers at a soup kitchen, and I used to volunteer at an animal shelter. It made me feel a lot better than cutting a check.

If you figure out the weight problem, please let me know. The one thing that has helped me is the stat/estimate that 50% of obese people have undiagnosed ADD. That would explain why diets don’t stick. If you know about your ADD, it can only help put you back on track. I’ve switched from diet coke to the 5 hour energy drinks, which reduces bloating and makes me want to eat less.

Nictotine is a stimulant, which is why ADDers are often smokers. Try the patch if you can.

Good luck.

*Fair disclosure, I didn’t at the time I was in debt, but I currently work for a credit card company. What I realize now is that everyone works for a credit card company, one way or another. I’m just one of the ones who gets a paycheck from them.

REPORT ABUSE