Re: my ADHD sons and volatility/anger expression……

[gypsybelle]

Thank you Andrew, for your info and insight. We did go through many of those things when the boys were teens. Neither of them got any more help except medication at that time. They have both experienced a lot of situations in their lifetime, and can handle social situations and professional situations rather well. The stuff I have anxieties about have to do with our personal relationships, and those with people who dont know them as well. I think with D. it is a result of tapering down medication. He can do his work well, and seems to be good with his friends, and can be socially adept and polite. He is a professor at a university, and since he can do all his work well with very little meds now he chooses to do it that way. He is thinking about medical effects on his liver over time. It is, I guess, more at home [his home, my home] that he lets the filters relax. If I think about it, I am more concerned with him and my partner, J.. He is 70, and I am 66, He has come from a very polite family who doesnt act like we used to act as a family…boistrous [?] and sometimes kiddingly sarcastic with one another. J is quieter, he has been convinced that D does not like him from some things like, for example, not wanting to talk to him on the phone for a minute, or saying offhanded things in a kidding way. Now I think I am getting to the core of one of the problems, just writing this. I got to the point that I decided to visit alone, and not expose J. to D. or vice versa. I couldnt take it anymore trying to explain things to each of them. At that time D apologized about the phone thing, and offered to talk to J about whatever he wanted to say. I let J read the email, and it helped a little. J said it was ok that he didnt have to talk to him. but some of the problem I know is different upbringing and different social behaviour.

My other son R is always nice to J but doesnt really listen sometimes when J is speaking. I know that is just how R is, his mind drifts, but it is still difficult. We dont see R much as he lives a good distance away with his family.

Wow, thanks, this is helping. Yes knowledge is power…

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