Re: Is there really “nothing positive” about ADD?

[Anonymous]

@LC and @caper: apologies if I misinterpreted lc’s remarks or came off too strong. I am frustrated with people telling me (and others) that our ADD must be mild or we can’t possibly have ADD because we are successful in some parts of our lives, so it’s a sore spot. It’s hard enough trying to juggle daily life with ADD, having someone doubt you or the severity of the condition just makes it worse.

It’s true that I’m a star at work and was an A student. Everyone wants to work with me and I always deliver results beyond expectations. I make stupid mistakes sometimes, but the home runs outweigh them. For now. But my ADD has seriously screwed up my health to the point where no life insurance company will insure me. To the actuaries, I’m already dead. I can’t have children because of chronic health problems and had I not discovered my ADD, I know for a fact I would be headed for a heart attack and an early death. I’m not sure I can avoid it even now. Sure, I can meet deadlines and move mountains at work, but it’s literally costing me my life.

I agree with toofat that for people like us, who are good at coping professionally, it might seem easy or successful on the outside, but I’m just as full of self doubt as anyone else. Deadlines are only met because panic and emotion drive me. As I’ve gotten older and wiser, I realize the cake is a lie. Deadlines are artificial and flexible, and now it’s harder and harder to meet them. I’m like a racing dog that caught the fake rabbit–I just don’t want to run the race anymore.

To quote Phil from Better off Ted: “I don’t know where the magic comes from and am terrified that one day I will wake up and I’ll be alone living with my brother in his basement with his trains.”

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