Reply To: People pleasing/being overly sensitive

[Patte Rosebank]

I smile, a lot.  Warmly and sincerely, with eyes a-twinkle.  Sometimes, I even have a hint of a laugh in my voice, and I phrase things almost like one-liners, because I’m so open to finding the funny side of situations.  People compliment me on my smile and my bubbliness, all the time.

They don’t realize the evil genius behind the smile.

First of all, it’s true that smiling sincerely all the time really does help to lift your mood.

Second (and here’s the evil part), when you’re smiling and bubbly all the time, people feel you’re someone they can trust.  They consider you a friend, even if you’ve only just met them.  This makes them lower their guard, so you can sometimes get away with saying or doing something that would ordinarily provoke a negative response in them.  But, because you’re always smiling sincerely, people don’t pick up on the malice behind the words.

Remember, communication is 10% verbal, and 90% non-verbal.  When said with a smile and a hint of a laugh, even something like, “Are you kidding?  Absolutely not, you naughty person!” comes across as friendly banter.

But you have to smile sincerely, with your eyes.  Otherwise, your smile will be as creepy and fake as the ones you see on televangelists and politicians.

You must be sincere.  And if you can fake that, you’re in!

 

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