The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Venting! › emotional disregulation? › Reply To: emotional disregulation?
You have nothing to be sorry about. And what you said struck me mostly like you were saying you could relate – not like we had an imminent need for the national crisis hotline. But if we did, that would be fine. You won’t get any grief from me about that, because I’m not a zombie.
I know the feeling: I never felt like the world wanted me. Never feel like I have anything to give that anyone actually wants. Don’t feel like I belong anywhere. And mostly feel empty in a way that can’t be fixed. It’s not wrong – it is what it is. What response to the universe is appropriate under those circumstances? In my opinion, a loving god wouldn’t create that situation.
My best way to fix it was to try to get creative…but even that can be depressing when I’m creating stuff no one cares about. Then it’s like a contest between creating something good, and creating something that will lead to validation. Which can seem like mutually incompatible goals. I don’t have a lot of purpose, either, but so far, that’s been the easiest one to choose because it’s an arena I can control.
Nobody needs anyone dumping on them for feeling bad. Anyone who does that has their own problems. As they say, may you be who you are, and may you be blessed in all that you are. I want to live in a world where everyone can feel like who they are is enough.
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