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Gary, gender issues are huge, because the most basic part of who we are, and how others see us, is what gender we are. This makes it an overwhelming issue for so many people. Unfortunately, there are also many people who refuse to accept that this is something you’re born with, not a choice you make, and those people often use their religion to justify attacking people who have gender issues.
I had quite a straightlaced upbringing, and that included regarding gay and transgendered people as freaks. But, when I was at university, I met many gay people and one fellow became one of my very best friends. We are truly kindred spirits. That opened my eyes to what a wonderful world there was out there. I became a real-life Victor-Victoria, and was in several of the big “DQ” (drag queen) revues, which were a great mix of gay, transgender, and straight people. We all worked together, and we all became friends, and it doesn’t matter at all what our gender or orientation is. And my parents and brother think that’s great!
Gary, please talk to some of those support groups in your area. It makes such a difference to talk to others who are going through (or have gone through) what you are going through, and to realize that you’re not alone. But be careful. There are some groups which claim to be support groups, but are actually run by people who claim to be able to “fix” you. Those are the ones to avoid, because they will only shame you and make you feel worse.
There’s one other issue that may be involved in your situation. Could it be that you were one of those people who were born a hermaphrodite, and the doctor made an arbitrary decision (without even telling your parents) that you had to be one gender or the other and made sure that you were? This issue has only recently come to light, and it’s mind-boggling to think of how many people have been affected by this practice (or malpractice).
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