Re: 20+ years of the same issues

[Anonymous]

zgjp82, I like what you wrote in your last post –‘I have to shut down and just go quiet’. It seems like a good coping technique. It is better than saying the wrong thing.

I would suggest that you do that for other situations as well. When you have a meeting or an interview, take a second to just breathe and think about your response. It is sometimes helpful to think about WHY someone is asking something. It is easier to just supply the answer, but it sometimes pays to be patient. It isn’t easy.

I find that I don’t seem to detect bad motives in others. Some people are ignorant and some are mean and they can all hurt me — especially when the subject of ADD comes up. So, I take a breath and ask myself ‘what’s really going on here?

Does your school have a counselor? Is there somebody there – or even a friend who can look over your school work? It’s okay to ask for help.

What are you going to study in school? If you are working full-time it will be hard, so you will need to stick to a strict schedule. Is that possible? I have found that a lot of people are less than understanding when I say I have to work and they reply that I can catch up later. I can’t. I have to stick to a schedule. People just don’t seem to understand that you cannot skip an evening of homework.

So maybe if you figure out how you will handle some of these problems, you will be prepared for when things get tough.

I feel for you — but if it is any encouragement at all….I was undiagnosed until I was in my forties and I managed to graduate from college. I wasn’t at the top of my class or anything, but I did it. The best thing I did for myself was to keep a schedule. I don’t know how I came to do it without knowing I had ADD, I just knew I had to go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time, work and study at set hours — and I stuck to the schedule. I missed some parties and family weekends — I felt I had to put my education first.

I wish you well. I hope you have a lot of support — you have some here. Hope it helps.

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