Thanks for the posts guys! I didn’t think i’d get any for a few days. 
Yeah I assumed my doctor would be the best bet for finding my strengths, and trust me I know a lot about most of my weaknesses, just not my strengths. THANK YOU so it’s not just me – I think the therapist I finally saw on July 23rd this year misdiagnosed my so called Avoidant Personality Disorder instead of the proper Predominantly Inattentive subtype ADD. I have some school papers from 9 years old and 9 1/2 stating I scored very high on the ADD Inattentive. Unfortunately the Psychological Evaluation Therapist guy was paid for by the welfare office for me thank god if there is one, so I don’t really want to call him and ask or relate this info to him, since it was free ya know? I doubt he wants to hear me babble while not getting paid, although I didn’t bring in my school papers like I probably should have so maybe that could have changed the outcome? I did have a lot of school papers with countless teacher comments regarding my inattention, lack of concentration, no effort, gives up easy, losing things, not turning in work, basically all the ADD stuff.
Honestly If I don’t get meds, I will not go, I will find a doc who will. I know I can’t just get over it and that the issues are a real problem, now if I try meds and they don’t work after switching and all that after 5 years then i’ll choose a different route, but you have to understand that I haven’t been able to TRY them yet, and until I do that is my course of action, and whether or not part of it is my ADD or another issue I have, I have to have PROOF to believe in something, i’m a bit of a research scientific guy I guess even though I suck at Science. I have to question everything over and overly obsess over it, over analyze everything, I also pace for 30 mins at a time talking to myself and answering myself several times a day 
Don’t get me wrong, I will try therapy as well if I can afford it, but I will not if I can’t get meds as well.
My whole life my family even still treats my illnesses as it’s a curse to god or something and if anyone finds out OMG (We do live in a town of around 200 population in nowhere Missouri lol so it’s like soap opera central around here) it’s like wow really, and they think it’s just in my head lol, yeah let me tell you all these years and all the circumstances i.e. bad grades, self mutilation starting at 11 years old is (normal) etc. It’s like really? All they seem to do is deny, deny, deny, deflect, deflect, deflect hey just like democrats (no offense) I’m also extremely objective which I find to be a strength because I’ve been a Democrat in the past (17-19), Centrist -Independent (20-24) and now (25-26) i’m a mix between Centrist and Tea Party/Republican. So i’ve been on each side and I know each sides Bulls*it so unlike many people I understand each point of view, although I may not agree with certain ones, I still respect people because politics can be harsh and break people apart from each other and it shouldn’t but it does. I consider myself Republican I guess although I don’t care for the Christian values, family values, and anti weed propaganda. To me that doesn’t matter the real problems facing our country do. Federal Spending, Economy, Jobs, Government Regulation, Healthcare, Gun Rights, Weed Legalization matter to me and not in that order specifically. I do Approve Assisted Suicide, I recently saw a paraplegic I felt real bad for In Britain I believe and felt so bad for him because he can’t even move and he just wants to die, but their Govt turned him down on the asst. suicide thing, it showed him reading the verdict he was balling and his wife or caretaker had to wipe his mouth and all that very sad to me, maybe because I understand the pain even though i’m not paralyzed I still feel that way with my issues.
I reallllly need to research how to learn some Grammar lol, run on sentences I know, but this post is long and i’m soo tired. Sorry for another long post guys and hopefully my political/religious undesiciveness (spelling, even a word? lol) did not offend anyone. 😳 I am learning that my issues whatever they really are, are the main reasons why I am so open minded and can’t make a direct decision, as well as my out-of-the-box thinking contributes to the latter as well.
I have assumed that I am an Analytical/Logical thinker I read a really cool post about that online and everything on it explained me down to my soul, but Logic requires good math and science skills and critical thinking which I SUCK at so wtf. It’s hard to differentiate who I really am with these issues because maybe I am just being negative and not able to define myself. It’s even hard for me to answer certain ?’s about myself because some of them I honestly just don’t know. I do believe that we were all put here for a reason
EXAMPLE: Fred was put here to be the best Car Mechanic on the planet but will Fred ever get out of Retail and will he ever be able to study himself enough to realize his true potential.
I personally don’t know what my super strength is and I plan on making it my lifes work to find this out. Again sorry for this NOVEL guys lol, hit me back if you haven’t fell asleep readin this post lol. Bless you and whatever gods you follow or don’t follow 