Re: ADD and Lying

[Anonymous]

Hmmm……Cap A….maybe? I take it you don’t mean socially…this is in a business context??? My life before retirement was on the hot-seat driving the business (Competitive Policy) of a telecommunications firm in Canada. It was fun….but excessively and consistently hot!!!! Perfect for my ADD speedo brain…..

So here is how I managed in some of those grueling situations, and there were lots………..slow it down!!! S-l-o-w d-o-w-n the conversation…. to your speed……..take control. I found some people will try put you under the gun, rattle you….body language, verbage….even if they are not, and you find yourself stumbling and frenzied…….slow…… the….. conversation…. down to your speed. I found most of the really brilliant people I dealt with took time, and responded slowly….thinking about, and crafting their response(s).

There are tools to make pauses pregnant and slow things down…. and there is nothing wrong with that. Typical example is saying that you will need time to ponder their question….and will get back to them at a later date is cool to do. You can write down their question…that also gives you some time…study it for a minute, maybe make a note, say that out loud, it will give even more time……there are lots of ways to make time for yourself and relieve the pressure of the moment. Say their question back to them in your words, asking them for clarification, also fair ball…all are tools of conversation and negotiation. Easiest time grabber…sit back close your eyes,say give me a minuet, “I need to think on this”……take your time to respond. You don’t have to swing hard at every pitch…..

All of these seemingly simple tools will work…however, all of these tools need to be practiced, polished if you will, no different than playing piano, they are a skill. You can try them out in social settings where the consequences are not as dire. They will seem mechanical at first (again like first playing notes on a piano) but over time they will be more fluid more natural. You will be amazed…. what have you got to lose…try them out. They can actually become a very handy part of your repertoire of communication skills…not bad skills to have.

This might sound odd to you but….also….I talk to everybody…..the clerk in the store, the gas guy, the waiter, people standing in line. I don’t mean big stuff…. small talk…. chit chat….maybe fun stuff. It does many things, it keeps you sharp and comfortable talking off the top of your head, and it gets you service with a smile (nice plus)…. people in the service business will bend over backwards to service a nice friendly customer. It brightens my and their day…..they also will remember you next time. Lotsa advantages…… go on get out there and start yakin’. It’s fun!!! Maybe just start with your friends to get going???

Opps nearly forgot…..I have friends who did the Toastmasters thing and thought it did wonders for their conversational skills??? Just a thought…throwing it out there.

Yakity Yak……try talk back!!!!! Remember people are, or can be fun…….

toofat

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