The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › I Married An ADDer › ADD and marriage. Something to think about. › Re: ADD and marriage. Something to think about.
ADHD is a spectrum disease. It ranges from the mild to the severely debilitating. And it also depends on hormones, stage and is effected most by what we are currently dealing with. That is why so many people are only being diagnosed as adults. When they were young everything looked normal. They lived at home, only had to concentrate on a few things, did not have to have a fulltime job and support themselves. They were able to juggle most of the balls successfully. But then they go out into the real world. Add stress, family, friends, jobs, social activities, housework, grocery shopping, marriage, children, and thousands of other normal everyday activities. Subtract sleep, time, money, resources and what are you left with. Suddenly more and more balls are falling even though you are moving your hands faster then ever. Finally the one ball is heavier then all the other balls. All the balls finally hit the ground. You stare at them for a few minutes bewildered because you have never dropped them all before, then embarrassed you start trying to pick them up and get them all started again before anyone else notices that you dropped them. That is ADHD for me. Marriage and family are stressors whether you love them or not. All families deal with the stress, but when you yourself are already struggling to keep all the balls in the air this can just be the straw that breaks the camels back.
Some people are more adept at handling all the stressors in their life. Or they have more people that are picking up the slack. If this is the case I wish you every happiness. But past success is no guarantee of future success. Because one day that extra ball may over balance you and you can find yourself overwhelmed and scrambling to pick up all the balls. To all the people who have dropped all your balls remember if you can just leave one or two of the balls on the ground you may be able to successfully juggle the rest. Or hire an assistant juggler.