“perhaps we need two bulletin boards: one for people who have a hard time finding their keys and reading a book, and another for people whose lives have been turned upside down since childhood by an insidious disorder.”
HAHAHA. Based on that we would actually need two groups: One for those that manage their symptoms but still need help and a Second for those that haven’t and are afraid to move on. Equally as irrational and pointless, in my opinion.
IMHO ADD/ADHD is not the same for everyone. Nature/Nurture or experience vs inexperience, being open to ideas or not will impact how you feel and deal with your issues. If you were raised in an environment with lots of examples of how to be successful you have a better chance of being successful too. As ADD/ADHD is genetic and if you have it most of the males in your family’s tree likely do to, the question is are they all like me or not and is that a bad thing? In my family most of the males on both sides have this, all are moderately successful but have issues with focus, drive, sensation and attention seeking behaviour, authority…. Nobody has escaped the lower-middle, job, income, successes. Some are worse, some are better, and for one chronic cannabis use since early high school has turned his ADHD into a major personality disorder. No drive, 32, lives at home, works and smokes. Not going to improve his quality of life or chance of success sitting on his butt in his parents home being coddled.
I’m 10 years older and had all the same issues growing up without the benefit of a diagnoses. My cousin knew and has chosen to let it be a handicap rather then an opportunity to change his life. I’m also breaking out of the family mold. It’s far from easy, but the more I learn the more it becomes a part of me and it gets easier.
You can decide to enter a relationship and work on it or not. You can also decide to avoid relationships or not. They are not mutually exclusive. People make this choice all the time, sane or not. 
Cheers.
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