Re: ALL IN THE FAMILY!

[Anonymous]

both my little brother and I have been diagnosed. he was still in elementary school when he was diagnosed. he had a lot more disruptive hyperactivity. in spite of the fact that I struggled deeply with school, chores, friendships, my need for help was entirely overlooked because my wildly dysfunctional parents had too much else on their plates to notice, so I went undiagnosed until I was 27 and took the initiative to get help for myself. (I hear you, Lanakila000!)

although they both clearly remember the fact that I needed someone to sit with me through every single homework assignment, every single task, they still deny that I have ADD because I’m “so smart” and “just need to try.” even after I felt and showed vast improvement when I started meds, they looked down on me for it. mainly this is because when my brother was taking Adderall when we were kids my dad would steal it, even when my mom started hiding the bottle and counting the pills.

I also find it ironic that my parents literally force fed my brother Adderall for years when he was a kid while he cried and cried that it made him feel bad, but somehow my independent, informed adult decision to seek help, and my gratitude for how much it has changed my life for the better is not right and constantly questioned.

I am almost completely positive that my mom has debilitating ADHD. like me before I got help, her house is a disaster, she can’t hold her train of thought, she is a terrible listener, she interrupts, she consistently reports feeling completely overwhelmed by career and house work… on and on. but, she refuses to even consider the possibility of an ADHD diagnosis because, “sometimes it’s like I can just bury my head in something and without even realizing it several hours have passed.” I tried to explain to her that for many people ADHD has more to do with an inability to regulate attention than never being able to pay attention. I also reminded her that we saw the same things in my brother, and she has never denied his diagnosis.

I find that her unwillingness to get help for herself (which is a major theme in life at large) is starting to make me feel very resentful. I love my mom and I would love to see her feel the benefit and relief that I’ve experienced from treatment. I can see that in part this is based on my own hope that maybe recognizing her own condition would help her open her heart to my struggle. but, I also find that my threshold for listening to her complain while doing nothing to improve her situation has been surpassed several times over. for me, this feeling of helplessness was a major symptom of ADHD and as soon as I got help the difference was night and day.

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