Re: anxiety

[Anonymous]

Hi,

I’ve had overwhelming anxiety my whole life…from as far back as I can remember. It was one of the first things I got diagnosed for in my early 30’s. I was put on an SSRI, which kind of calmed my inner restlessness within 4 hours…but then I just had a general sense of emotional numbness for the next 13 years, my anxiety returned…but just not the extreme version of it…. then I was unable to get off the SSRI meds. (I did eventually by cutting down over 6 months)

I’ve been diagnosed and treated for all kinds of mental health issues. For 2 years I was certain I had Asperger’s syndrome and was in the process of getting a DX for that. I actually didn’t know much about ADD and didn’t think I had it, but when I got the DX and tried the medication….. my anxiety was gone, That alone was a miracle to me.

But where I live we only have short acting medications available and I started having a difficult time getting my dose right. I needed to take it every 2 hours and I hated having to take pills all through the day and if I was late I would get that really bad rebound anxiety effect you posted about. I was getting it all through the day at times….and then I went into complete denial about having ADD and stopped taking meds completely. I did ok for a while, but I wasn’t actually doing anything during the day apart from the basics of life. Then I tried to do some things and a few responsibilities came up and within 6 weeks my anxiety came back worse than its ever been in my life. I had a 2 day panic attack, so I’m back on my meds and getting used to taking them regularly so I don’t have that rebound, crashing effect.

But I got it today because I messed up my schedule and my alarm and went through an hour of hell….not realizing what was going on…it was right in the middle of the day. I want to tell you that you are fortunate to be able to take long acting medication. On some days I feel like a real drug addicted loser because I have to schedule my whole day around taking pills, otherwise I get an overwhelming emotional effect like someone needing their next fix. I wish I could take it once in the morning and then just forget about it.

But I do have a suggestion for you, which actually works for me (when I get it right) I think its called titrating your dose which means taking a lower dose towards the afternoon and evening so it leaves your body slowly. You can have the same effect when taking long acting by taking a small dose of short acting just before the time when your rebound effect usually kicks in.

That feeling when the meds wear off is really hard to take, and I know exactly what you mean about it having an existential quality to it…. its like you forget that its going to stop eventually….this is your existence… for eternity, can’t imagine beyond it.

I hope you find something that works for you. The only non-medication treatment which helps me get through bad times is journalling….. I just keep typing, but I hate what I write when I’m not feeling good….its very dark, depressing and negative.

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