The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Stuck in Regret/Anger › Beating yourself up about your mistakes – especially if they affect others › Re: Beating yourself up about your mistakes – especially if they affect others
This is an interesting topic because it has such broad implications.
We (at least most of us) were taught from childhood that we need to take responsibility for our actions/behavior. It doesn’t matter if we grew up in Christian homes, secular homes, Jewish homes, you name it. It doesn’t matter where we went to school. We, as a society, disagree about many things, but taking responsibility for our actions generally isn’t one of them.
THEREFORE—it is a radical notion to suggest that because of a neurological disorder, we may not be in control of all our actions—or our inability to act. People who study ADD/ADHD assert that we suffer from broken wills, that there is a disconnect between our intentions and actions caused by brain chemistry. So, what does this mean? How much “guilt” should we carry for actions (or inactions) that are beyond our willpower to control? This is the loaded question.
Surely, on some level, everybody has to take ownership of his or her own behavior. Otherwise we’d have chaos. But if neurological researchers are right, and ADD wills truly are impaired, much of what generations have believed about personal responsibility has to be called into question. Centuries of theology has to be called into question. My third-grade teacher has a lot to answer for. It’s morally explosive. On the other hand, if those researchers are up the spout, then ADDers also are up the spout. And we don’t need sympathy or help…or websites. Maybe not even medications. What we need is a swift kick in the butt—and no more excuses!
One thing seems certain: it’s either heads or tails. Both sides can’t be right. Can they?
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