Sandra,
I agree with Ed2020. Take it one thing at a time. But DO NOT be fooled that putting your son first is best. He needs the best mom he can get. I always equate comments like that to: if you are on an airplane and the oxygen level drops, they tell you to put the mask on yourself FIRST so you can begin helping others. You cannot help anyone else unless you are OK. By taking care of you, you take care of him.
You sound a lot like me … I’m “high functioning” yet my house is a mess, clothes all over the floor of my bedroom, I sometimes can’t get off the couch all weekend (and I’m 55 years old for crying out loud!). I hold a very successful, respectable professional job as long as there are no requirements to clean off my desk and back storage room. I never accomplish what I know I could do if I only “tried harder”. I have a high IQ, but feel like an idiot a lot of the time with all the “dumb” stuff I do, say or don’t do. I tried Adderall XR 2 years ago which changed my life for both the better and for the worse. I LOVED how Adderall worked. I was amazing! I was happy, focused and felt like an adult for the first time in my life. I wrote grants, cleaned, organized, almost leapt tall buildings in a single bound… till a side effect that could not be ignored brought it all to an end.
It’s been a year since then and until two weeks ago I was “trying it alone” with therapy only. It’s ok, but the disorganization came back along with some bouts of depression. I am now trying Intuniv which hasn’t technically been approved for adults, but I fought for it as did my NEW doctor and got it. It works a lot slower than the stimulants but I’m slowly starting to see a difference.
I’m not a doctor, but I’m not convinced your diagnosis of the bi-polar. My sister was diagnosed with Bi-Polar and ADHD. I’m not convinced after all she’s been through that she just wasn’t a severe ADHD… I was researching info for her and ended up reading about myself! When I first heard about adult ADHD, I thought “Great! Another excuse for adult bad behavior”… but when I EDUCATED myself about it, I ended up going to a doctor who belittled my suggestion that I might have ADHD. In fact, she said to me “I think you actually might be a little bi-polar.” Uh, duh! That’s like being a little pregnant. You either are or aren’t. I INSISTED and she sent me to a neurologist who administerd an 8 hour long test and lo and behold I was diagnosed at age 48 with ADHD. So I guess she was a little “right”….Cuz a “little bi-polar” is ADHD!!!! …. Same first 10 or so symptoms, but then it changes dramatically for bi-polar. Many of the symptoms cross over, such as anxiety and depression. I was also treated for depression but it didn’t get my house clean like being treated for ADHD did. 
Insist on the best doctors you can find in WA State. Insist on a neurologist if your insurance will pay (ask if they specialize or know about ADHD … Proper diet can definitely help: fish oil, protein in the AM. Cut the carbs (I know that you love them 
and Exercise, exercise! Even if it’s just walking.
Educate yourself:
Go to Dr. Edward Hallowell’s website: http://www.drhallowell.com/ Get his book: Driven to Distraction AND Delivered from Distraction
ALSO:
http://www.tuckmanpsych.com. Ari Tuckman in West Chester, PA is GREAT. Call him if you have to. He also has podcasts at: http://adultadhdbook.com/ Also get his book: More Attention, Less Deficit.
ALSO: Google: Dr. Patricia Quinn from DC. She’s an expert on women with ADHD.
I’ve given you a lot of suggestions… just pick one. Try that for awhile then try another. I’d start with a second opinion from a reputable doctor. I’ll do some research in WA State and get back to you. I’m a librarian, I live to research!
Don’t give up. You sound like an amazingly gifted and talented person.
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