Re: Can I get help/diagnosed without my parents?

[Scattybird]

Hey chrissybee – thanks for getting back to us. Good to hear that you’re eating good brain food. Yoga is good and mindful walking is good too. Try to get some Tyrosine. It’s just an amino acid and you can get it from health stores that sell vitamins and stuff like that.

I think Tiddler might be right about your OCD – it might be a way of controling your situation. I did similar things to you when I was around your age when life became bad at home. I controlled it once I became independent.

Now, it strikes me that you need to get your Mom on side and that’s going to take some mental effort from you. I mean big effort. It’s not easy dealing with parents at 15 and especially when they have fixed views. But, you’re going to have to try to control the impulsive and argumentative side of your ADD (we all have it, don’t worry!).

So – and it’s just my opinion, your mistake in the conversation with your Mom was jumping in with an argumentative reply too soon. So… Your conversation went like this:

“Hey mom, I read more stuff about ADD last night and I feel like I should at least get a diagnosis”

“Well, fine, sure, I never said you couldn’t get a diagnosis…”

“Yeah I think it would be really good for me, but actually you did say you didn’t want me to get one one time…” Etc.

From there your conversation went downhill and you lost that particular battle. Now, instead of arguing with her your conversation could have been more productive if it had gone like this:

“Hey mom, I read more stuff about ADD last night and I feel like I should at least get a diagnosis”

“Well, fine, sure, I never said you couldn’t get a diagnosis…”

“Yeah I think it would be really good for me, WHEN CAN WE MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE DOCTOR?”

So instead of developing it into what she’d said before, you could have tried to capitalise on what she said then. If it’s any consolation I would have had the same conversationas you did and it’s easy with hindsight to say what you could have said. I wish I had a gold coin for every time I wished I had said something differently!

Point is, you need her on side. I think you can get a diagnosis without her but you wouldn’t be prescribed stimulants without her as a responsible adult given your age.

So chrissybee, bite your tongue and play a clever game instead. Next time you have this conversation with your Mom, replay your reply in your head before you speak it and ask yourself if it will get you what you want from the conversation. It’s hard!

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