Hey guys. Not much new has occurred, except a conversation with my Dad. I don’t know why I even tried to talk to him about my feelings and how much I’m suffering besides my great efforts I’ve tried to explain. He basically reiterated over and over that I’m just not taking the right supplements and his magical fruit juice, natural pills, and good ol’ acidophilus enzymes will cure me (when taken with consistency and the right vitamins will accumulate?). The real kicker here is that I’ve done, and am doing everything but he seems to not think I’m doing them with enough consistency… But being OCD I am very consistent (but it’s annoying because I often get distracted). So now I’m just even more upset. I don’t like feeling that my problems aren’t real enough or I’m not doing enough or praying enough. This is so ridiculous. I’m becoming really depressed.
It really all makes sense to me now, looking back on it. The procrastination and copying other students homework. When I was younger I used to do this all the time and didn’t know why I could never get stuff done. I started checking my backpack and doors and lots of other things to try to control what was inside my head, to no avail. I didn’t exactly have the best exercise schedule, but the hyper activity doesn’t really affect me that much even though I have some signs and tendencies of it. I’m absolutely discouraged.
I’ve tried these things:
weird natural fruit juice (2+ years)
fish oil capsules (off and on for 2+ years, started taking it regularly again)
vitamins (my entire life, basically)
cutting out sugar (about 6 months now which has done nothing because I mostly eat natural anyways)
protein powder (includes tyrosine which is supposed to help ADD, for about 4 months or longer)
there’s more things too but I’m done trying to say that basically nothing makes a difference.
The only thing that seems to help is Caffeine and hmm I wonder why… Could it be *gasp* a stimulant?!?!
My dad then said I could take his super dee duper caffeine but I all ready do… So… I’m screwed for life because I’m not getting the same helping effect of caffeine anymore all I get are headaches if I don’t have any as well 
ow.
My thoughts are like when you can’t get the cable to turn on and they’re just noisy and static, then I can’t remember what the heck I was thinking or trying to do I hate this SO MUCH.
I’m going to go cry now. See ya.
My brother took Concerta apparently, I found a prescription bottle in the drawer when I was looking for a hair brush (empty, I’m not going to try anything don’t worry) from when he used to live here… just a side note.
REPORT ABUSE