The Forums › Forums › Most X-treme! › Pain › deeply sad,full of regret › Re: deeply sad,full of regret
((((g))))., so sorry about the friend you lost. Your post brought me to tears because I can feel a little bit of how much that must hurt. I can also identify with the feelings of self-dislike and disappointment with yourself. I honestly don’t know how to get past those feelings because I still struggle with forgiving myself for even small embarrassing slips of the tongue and things like that. We tend to perseverate on those mistakes over time, but we’ve got to eventually give ourselves a mental Get Out of Jail Free card, and I hope someday you can do that for yourself.
I’ve done the exact same thing, am doing it right now, in fact. I have an aunt whom I used to talk to a lot when I wasn’t working but things fell off since I started getting busier. I haven’t called since January because in the past when I did remember to call, she’d tease me and say, “Nooo, it can’t be you!” And she sends complaining messages through my dad how she never hears from me, so I avoid the repeated admonitions in a very weasel-like way by continuing to not call. Oh, did I mention she just went through her second occurrence of breast cancer, complete with radiation treatments? Ya, Person of the Year, that’s me.
I’ve heard others on these forums say similar things like, “I have trouble remembering to stay in touch with friends and family.” So true, for so many of us, I’m sure.
g,
You’ve been through a lot in life, it seems. Keeping in touch with others is difficult to sustain when you’re faced with pressures and sadness at home with your immediate family. I’d love to hear other forum members advice for a way to prompt ourselves to keep in touch with those we don’t see regularly. I know with myself it’s Feast or Famine. You either hear from me a lot (too much? who knows, no one will say) or hardly ever (guilt feelings from forgetting to contact someone in such a long time perpetuates the delay because I don’t know how to explain the lack of contact. Saying “I forgot” sounds so hurtful, doesn’t it? And then, what if they’re tired of waiting and don’t want to talk anymore?). I don’t do “somewhere in-between” very well, in anything, if you get right down to brass tacks.
Take care, thanks for sharing, and hope you feel a bit better about things soon.
Love,
Abby
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