Re: Do we tend ot be loners?

[Curlymoe115]

I can be very social in a comfortable situation. But I usually put myself to work. While everyone else is out chatting I am in the kitchen getting the dishes started. I love the noise and the flow as long as I have no need to be part of it. I hate large crowds so we usually socialize in the small house party setting and my husband cannot stand people in his space. When I do make conversation it is usually one person at a time. I also seem to invite confidences so I find out things about the person they would never tell the rest of the group. Then when they are keeping up with the Jones’ I am usually biting my tongue to stop myself from correcting them.

I have 2 close friends. One I have known since I was 10 (42 now) and the other I have known for 5 years. My friend of 32 years is a single workaholic and we catch up every few weeks. My other friend is a married mother like myself who feels overwhelmed by the responsibility of keeping everything together. So for the most part my role is to pick up the slack. But we usually get together every couple of weeks for a day of shopping and have a great time. She has dozens of “friends” but I am the one that she usually calls when she has a crisis because she knows that I either know what to do or will find out. It makes me feel in control of my out of control life. So we both win.

When we get together with her social circle the other women usually resent me because I don’t keep to social boundaries. When we go on cook-outs I bring food for my family that I know that they will eat. I don’t pack enough for 3 days so that we have 6 dishes that everyone can share. They are all trying to one up the other by bringing exotic dishes that they need to cook and has to be kept at a certain temperature. For 2 years I socialized with the one woman and because we were never really introduced I just called her bossy. We will have plans to go someplace and she will call the other couples (because they all socialize together constantly) and they will change the plan and we only find out once we get to the meeting place. For the Christmas get together I was able to finally talk my friend into a pot luck. I made a dish and put it in the crock pot and the first comment out of the other womens mouths was “is that all you brought”. There were 12 main dishes for 30 people. They made 25 cups of rice. More food then you would see on a buffet and still they wanted more. As it was the left overs would have filled a fridge. My husband was really offended on my behalf. He wasn’t feeling well and that made him want to leave right after we walked in the door. We did leave after 3 hours. On the 30th we got a call from my close friend that if we wanted to we could stop by Bossy’s house on New Years Eve. Unfortunately as gracious as the invitation was hubby had to work on the 1st. Had to decline.

So for our big New Years Eve celebration we just made chinese food, had cheese cake and were all tucked up for the night by 11 pm. It isn’t terribly exciting but we had a good time and we weren’t forced to do what anyone else wanted. Happy New Year to you all.

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