Re: Do we tend ot be loners?

[Anonymous]

There was one party I really enjoyed. It was at end of the school year party. I once worked as security at a middle school. I got to know lots of very nice teachers who did their best to make me comfortable in my surroundings. They knew how tough it could be and I am very grateful to them for doing so. I was able to come out of my shell. We flirted with eachother to cut the tensions we confided to eachother to get through the day with those rug rats. When my mother died during the summer in between school years they served as my counselors. We were eachother’s working spouses so to speak. Sorry for the long tangent. Anyway back to the party. I never got up and danced. That night I really let loose. I was totally uninhibited. I didn’t care who watched me or thought me a bad dancer. I was among friends. It was a great night. We all closed down the place. One girl I was dancing with got really crazy and she was about to cross a certain line with me but I pulled back because first she was drunk and alcohol shouldn’t do the talking for you. Second, she was a wife and mother and I know for a fact that I don’t have it in me to raise a kid and if one thinks himself man enough to take a woman you must be man enough to raise her child and I knew I wasn’t. Another reason I know that women consider sex to be something sacred. If there is a physical union they want a spiritual one as well and while I consider her one of my very best friends there is no way I can give her what she wanted however attractive she is and it would put us in an awkward state the proceeding year since we’re coworkers. So I pulled away. If I was younger I would have led my hormones do the talking for me and cross the line but being in my 30s I was able to temper myself and pull back. I took her to an IHOP and sobbered her up with coffee. She felt awkward after that night and there was some uneasiness between us because she felt ashamed of herself, but we talked and were able to put it behind us. If I had been more impulsive and committed the act it would have been very different. I’m just saying that we’re not condemed to being alone our whole lives. I’m just saying that adhd or not all anyone really needs is the right environment to bloom. Not everyone is a natural extrovert. For us it’s harder but we can have our buds. Don’t lose hope.

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