Re: Go public, or keep it a secret?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys. I just passed (um, flunked?) the test pretty convincingly, which didn’t surprise me a bit. I’ve been joking with people for years about my “ooo shiny thing syndrome”. I’m lucky, I’m an architect – and people are much more forgiving of any eccentricity in an artist. So I’ve known at some level for a long time why I had to have staff to do the construction drawings, why I’m sometimes a dog-with-a-bone and sometimes can’t even start, and why I live entire lifetimes in my head on a car drive.

Telling clients and staff I have “ooo shiny thing syndrome” has always both elicited a laugh and gotten me forgiveness about phone calls, distractions, etc. Clients sometimes love it when I butt right in when they’re speaking with some version of “oh, oh, oh – I have it!!!!!” They instinctively “get” the connection between high creativity and some distractibility. It’s the “my architect is an eccentric genius” tactic.

Here’s what I didn’t know – I didn’t know about being snippy, impatient, quick to anger and intolerant of employee’s mistakes being part of it. I thought I was a bad person. I learned years ago to only hire the most gentle and patient of personalities. In an interview I tell people a primary qualification is to “be able to handle me, because I can be horribly difficult.” Well, even being the boss and being upfront about this doesn’t really give me the right, and I feel guilty ALL THE TIME.

So, I’m thinkin’…

First, of course, see the doctor, make sure this is what it is, and not something else.

Second – I’m going to tell my staff, and not just in a joking way. And I’m thinking just telling them without also telling them what I’m doing about it or how we together can effect an improvement in our work life – well, that’s just a cop out. So – doctor first, medication maybe, whatever behavior stuff can work absolutely – and then share the plan with those who have to live with the side effects 5 days a week. It’s also a factor that they are truly patient, empathetic and gentle people – ’cause I really did hire with that criterion right behind plain old basic competence.

My family isn’t so much an issue. We don’t see each other often enough for me to not be able to control myself. And my cat would love me no matter what!

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