Re: Holidays… I hate holidays. Does anyone out there like them?

[billd]

Lana….. you said:

>>I hate feeling like I need to spend a pile of money to make my children happy, when I’m strapped and just getting by paying my bills. I enjoy their happy faces when they get gifts, I just hate the price tag. <<

You do not have to. I grew up in a quite poor family. The house was maybe all of 800 square feet AFTER it was added on to. 2 bedrooms, 3 boys. TINY kitchen that doubled as “utility room” with washer, dryer, water heater, etc. Living room was crowded with 5. Bedrooms were probably 10 x 8′. No basement. Single car garage with busted up floor, leaning walls.

Mom was unable to work most of the time due to depression and ADD. (hospitalized a lot for the depression)

Dad commuted to work in the city to a factory job at a plant that made lawn and garden equipment. Single paycheck. He’d cash the check and give it to Mom – who would then sort of into envelopes that were stored in a metal box. Each was for a different purpose – light bill, gas, car expenses, groceries and so on. when that envelope was empty – it was done. Dad was given just so much to go get as many groceries as he could that were on the list. When the money was gone, he stopped shopping.

Christmas was good because it came from the heart – with love. Our toys from our parents were normally simple and inexpensive by even 1960s standards. They literally saved a couple bucks each week from the beginning of the year, and shopped ALL year, catching sales, bargains, etc. No such thing as “black friday” back then, even if there was, no way they’d participate! A real treat was 5 cent candy of our choice – we’d usually pick out something we could make last for several days, instead of a “candy bar” it would be something like SweeTarts where we could eat a couple a day and enjoy it over a week.

We were fine. Yeah, we heard the “hand-me-downs” jokes and all – but there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for our parents now, we loved and love them, we knew they did their best. We grew up ourselves believing that kids shouldn’t have all the things some of our friends might have, and felt we were better off for not having. We were taught well, trained well, and well adjusted. As adults, we can more easily and honestly appreciate what we have now. we take far better care of things! I’ve got stuff I’ve had since I was a kid or young adult -very well cared for, still works. My friends, well, not so well off…………… they don’t care for things, they suffer really badly in hard times as they don’t know how to budget. My current wife grew up similarly – when I lost my job a few years back and was unemployed for 22 months – we didn’t suffer, we simply trimmed the sails, tossed out extra weight, and carried on. We can weather the storm much better than those were were given much, had a lot of stuff, and never knew how to budget or live in hard times.

I think I’ll some day thank my parents …………. they did us a great favor.

I feel sorry for the 12 year old with a cell phone and all new designer jeans.

I feel that some of the feelings SOME of us have this time of year IS due to weather, LACK of sunlight (when is the SHORTEST DAY of the year???????) – it has a genuine impact on the human condition, holiday or not.

I have social anxiety and am a severe introvert. So I’m sorry I can’t relate to some of your stuff – and yet somehow feel like I do still understand.

Worse – whenever we get together with Barbara’s extended family – it’s 5 cousins each of whom have had 5+ kids, 2/3 of whom are now married with 1-5 kids of their own and so on – and EVERY SINGLE TIME we get together with them, I get TERRIBLY sick. This time was no exception. Severe flu and cold, sicker ‘n a dog the last couple of days, still need to keep aspirin handy, wear sweatshirts for the chills and stay CLOSE to a restroom if you get my drift. If I’d not go, I’d not get sick. Proven that in the past. I go, I get sick (she did this year too!)

Plus, frankly I hate the big crowd and being in with so many I don’t know and can’t directly relate to………. I know it’s not their fault. I don’t blame them.

dspice – sometimes we just enjoy the small group of immediate family – either just my wife and I, or just us with my son and his wife, or just us and my parents. Honestly, we’re just as happy, and get the same feelings…………the intimate gatherings like that can actually mean much more, IMO.

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