Family Physician calls it ADHD….Now after waiting three weeks to see the phsyciatrist I randomly cancel the appointment by email because I can’t find my insurance card. That has been lost for who knows how long. I finally find my husbands card and say cool this should work..realizing I have already cancelled the appointment. Now here I am having slight anxiety because I know I will have to wait another three weeks to randomly tell someone my thoughts that are driving me crazy. So I sit on the computer trying to re-email the physiciatrist and wondering how I can explain myself without sounding like a crazy person and try to explain..I found my card…I don’t want to cancel…can I get a morning instead of afternoon..because of course when I scheduled the first one I forgot a prior engagement I had already scheduled the same time and for the love of God please see me now and not make me a wait another three weeks! And of course the email never got sent….and i have decided it is best to call Monday morning before I make a complete ass of muself jumping from one random thought to another and not even addressing what I actually want to say. This has become my life….I have faked who I am and have hid behind it all my life. I thought I had perfected the perfect Mom..the perfect wife…the one everyone would talk about ” I don’t know how she does it” and have others say “I wish I had your energy” and say things like “how do you stay so positive?” Where did i go?? And then i realized i had never actually left…i was just so good at the acting part! Always knew I should of been an actress. 
I am in the back and fourth stage right now my friends. Please be patient i will get there one way or another! I truly am fighting to see all of the positives and the ” now I know and can fix it”….. This is just a bad day and I’m sorry for the let down. I know I will bring myself back up…but this is my reality today. Feeling embarrassed now that my husband and my children know that Mom is actually a real person and not the superhuman they thought she was. But…… I have tomorrow and I hope to bring it! Enough of my ridiculous random pitty party!! Thanks for letting me vent and I look forward to moving forward with the world of Totally ADD ! Don’t worry I promise to bring the positive next time! Love ya! And I hope this makes some kind of sense because I’m not going back to check!
Re: I can't focus enough to read all these other topics, so I'll start my own.2012-05-20T01:18:53+00:00