Re: I don't know what to do with my life

[Anonymous]

Thanks Billd for your comments. I agree with you btw. My ex didn’t treat me too well when we were together either. Of course I was completely undiagnosed and he thought I was just being rebellious or disrespecting him by not “trying” to keep a cleaner house, or trying to keep up with appointments and bills. When after we divorced I mentioned that I think I have ADD it’s like a light turned on in his head and he understood and apologized for all the fights over the house, kids, ect that we had. Plus his wife now has talked to me (we are friends) and told me that he’s told her how things were between us and that she’d have left really early on instead of sticking it out for 17 years like I did.

Totally, I’m sorry you are going through this with your husband, but you do have to take care of yourself first. I won the argument with my husband over my sons medication because he was deployed at war at the time and didn’t want to argue. But, we went through quite a few meds before we found the right one. If the side affects are too bad from the prior drug, I’d tell the dr and try to get something with less side affects but that still works. Every person is a little different and what works for one person may not work for another. He’s your son too, and your husband is not the king of your home. He doesn’t get to command you anything. If he is treating you that way, he’s wrong. Marriage is a partnership, not a boss-employee relationship. I’d suggest that after you get the right medication for yourself, and it might take a few tries, that you guys start some kind of counseling because quite frankly no one deserves to be treated the way he’s treating you. I know that being married/in a relationship with someone with ADD is tough, but that is not an excuse.

When I explained to my husband this about my son he finally relented even after he came home: I am disciplining Ben’s ADHD and I’m hurting Ben. In other words the behavioral problems were all caused by the impulse control issues of ADHD, and not Ben acting out. I told him I didn’t want to hurt Ben anymore and that if a medication helped him gain some control over the behavior then that was a great thing.

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