i was really afraid to learn to drive. i put it off for years after my friends all learned. i was sooooo convinced that i’d never manage it, that i’d drive into walls at high speed, forget how to braek, hit the wrong pedal, not be able to work the gears (we drive manual in the uk) and all kinds of other dreadful things. then one day a friend of mine got out the yellow pages and threatened to book me a bunch of driving lessons if i didn’t just get on with it and do it myself. so i did it.
yep, i found it really hard sometimes, i had moments of panic, i screwed stuff up, and it took me absolutely ages to get my head around going backwards, and how roundabouts worked (my instructor had to use his small sons toy roads and matchbox cars to explain things to me, and i had to practice feeding the steering wheel with a biscuit tin lid until i got the co-ordination down- i felt like such an idiot) but the moment i stopped thinking about how dreadful it’d be, and started actually doing it, and got more and more proficient at it, a lot of the fear went away.
usually the fear of whatever you imagine might happen, is a hundred times worse than the actual event itself- cos we’ve got incredibly creative imaginations, us ADDers- and we make up wonderful stories in our own heads- we’re super sensitive and used to being made to feel not good enough too, so they’re usually negative ones. but it’s important to remember that they’re just that- stories. imaginings. fiction. even the real stuff is biased- because how we percieve things isn’t usually how everyone else does… we remember stuff they don’t even notice, etc.
it took me 5 tries to pass my british practical driving test. i was so freaked with nerves each time i took the exam that i’d have an upset stomach for days beforehand, had nightmares, blanked completely when they asked me my name, couldn’t speak or use my legs properly, nearly threw up, made crazy driving mistakes from second-guessing myself, etc- the works. then on test number 5 i did something stupid right at the start of the practical, and automatically decided that i’d failed yet again right then and there, and that i wasn’t going to take the test any more cos i was sick of failing- so the fear totally went away, i gave myself permision to screw up as much as i wanted for the next 45 minutes, and i just drove the car, waiting to get back to the test centre, cry, feel sorry for myself a bit more, and for it to be over and done with.and low and behold i relaxd and stopped screwing up, cos it didn’t matter enough for me to be worried about and over-think any more. and i bloody passed.
then i was frightened about driving on my own…. i got over that too, eventually- when driving became as automatic as walking is- they’re both just a series of co-ordinated movements. the fear of stalling in the middle of a junction went away after i did that, and lived- other drivers just slowed down and stopped, i just composed myself and restarted the car… my fear of crashing went away after i backed into a wall with a carful of my rowdy drunken friends in the backseat (awesome move jen!) and after i drove into someone at a junction, doing 5 miles an hour, and ripped their bumper off with an audience of about 20 people looking on…. my fear of getting a flat vanished after i got not one but two at the same time- and handled it like a pro…. etc.
i think my point is that 99% of the dreadful stuff we think about isn’t likely gonna happen, a fair bit of it is out of our hands anyway and will happen if it’s gonna, regardless of how much we worry or don’t worry about it, and if and when something does go wrong, it’s usually not that huge of a huge deal looking back, cos we’ll cope. you just take a breath, swear- if it helps, then dust yourself off, someone puts out a hand and helps you to get back up again, and on you go. life does go on….. we invariably survive… and if sooner or later we don’t, once we’re gone i doubt that we know that much about it, nor care. 
big dissaved- do you know what exactly you’re afraid of, and why? wanna share?
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