Re: Inconsistent Performance…a major roadblock

[Anonymous]

I think the only difference between myself and the rest of you folks is that I’m older – yet my ADHD was only diagnosed last year and we’re still trying to find the best treatment.

After many rides on the employment roller coaster, I’d frequently find myself “self-employed.” I knew I was talented (at least those times when I wasn’t berating myself for being a no-good, 2-bit hack) but I really stink at the follow-through. Finishing a project is murder, much less starting one that has no deadline. And beating the bushes doing marketing/sales? Forget it. Couldn’t generate leads, and the few nibbles I did get I’d invariably let slip away.

So now I’m on my second excursion as a telecommuter and frankly, I’m dreading it. At first, it seemed great, I could just concentrate on what needs doing, avoid the office politics, etc. And when the work is there, it’s great. But we’re in a lull now and I’m very concerned about earning my keep. I’m even more afraid to raise my hand and say “what should I be doing?” because I dread the sending and receiving of the “disappointment” vibe. I’ve dropped hints, but so far no one has given me any projects.

Then there’s the whole office politics thing. I’m connected to the company network and emails and I see a lot of messages that make me grown inwardly – I do not want to attend meetings on how to motivate workers, and so on. Lots of gung ho, peppy stuff that just makes me cringe.

So I’m a little on edge this week. I want to do my best, get some momentum going, but I’m too scared to stick up for myself.

It sounds like we’re all in the same boat – we can do the work, and with proper tools, even follow through. But dealing with people…ugh!

I wonder if we could outsource that?

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