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Re: It only took me 47 years to figure out why!

Re: It only took me 47 years to figure out why!2012-03-06T03:03:48+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? It only took me 47 years to figure out why! Re: It only took me 47 years to figure out why!


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I turned 40 last month and only recently found out that I have adhd. I’m at the beginning of learning about it and have had a lot of ‘what if’ moments. Overall though, I am pretty happy with the person I am. I may not be overly successful in my career but I’m kind, trustworthy and fun. I’m kind of grateful that my adhd impulsiveness compelled me to do some (in hindsight) crazy things like backpack alone through Asia, climb an active volcano, go tubing on car tyres down rapids and so on. There are so many things I’m interested in, lots of projects I pick up and never complete but while I’m hyper focusing on them, I have so much fun. Like you guys I’ve cried about what could have been and then I think ‘how awesome am I?’ to have gone bumbling through half my life with this problem and still be a decent and optimistic person :-)

On the down side I have a lot of shame about my lack of productivity at work and the professional reputation I have for ditziness. I wish I had been diagnosed earlier not so much for myself but so that I could have been on the look out for it with my children and helped my son when he was younger. Instead we went through several years of really hard times wondering what was wrong with him. It also explains a lot about my dad who I suspect had adhd as well. He had a lot of addictions (alcohol, smoking and gambling – went through many jobs etc). He died of lung cancer at the age of 60 estranged from his family, including me, and feeling angry and like a failure. If we had known maybe 10-15 years ago it would have saved our family a lot of heartache.

But what can we do? We can torture ourselves about things we can’t fix or we can make sure the rest of our life is great. I intend to use all the knowledge that’s out there now about adhd to help my son and I have a better life. I’m very forgiving of myself too. If the house is a mess I don’t sweat it too much and I celebrate even the tiniest of achievements. Good questions gmanlive. Got me thinking and putting all my confusing ponderings into words.