Re: List of Questions to Ask Doctor &/or Therapist

[Anonymous]

Hi Mommachele…..I believe 21 is still quite young, and not to have a direction at that age is not uncommon as for as I know. You might consider this and please I really don’t want to offend…but bear with me.

You might consider consulting a counselor (try a few weeks/months)…..for you, not your daughter. I say this because we often are invested ( it’s family ) in this issue…..and that’s not always a good place to be. One may be to close to the issue to be objective, and you may be slightly short on the tools required to best support your daughter too. My experience is… nobody….. but nobody likes to hear that…..however, facts are that quite often our tool box is made up of parenting tools handed down from gawd knows how many generations before us……and these tool often are seriously inadequate for these times, and maybe were never very effective even in their day.

So much has changed and developed since our parents parented us….and their parents parented them….think about that ….gawd that was the turn of the previous century. I’ve heard so many people say this about parenting……”oh, you’ll do fine just do what comes naturally”…..well that’s what comes naturally. Old tools, from bygone days…passed from generation to generation. Most folks educate themselves and study harder for a drivers test than they do before entering into parenting!!! I find that unusual!!!

So I would/did consider this….getting a counselor ( a professional )…….let your daughter be for a while…she is young and has so much time….there is no pressing need, the world will still be there and waiting for her. If we get the tools we need to move forward with confidence with our children…..we may well be seriously surprised at how this will go in the end. You will likely save yourself some serious anxiety and will pass on a confidence to your daughter that will last her a life time. In the end I would suggest she may be stronger, a more well developed adult….and have the life SHE needs to have…..wonderful!!!

As for what her friends are doing…..so what???? Comparison ( I believe) is a dangerous activity to engage in….it hardly ever has a positive result for anybody. I believe we are who we are, and it’s important we find our own way in our own time……to push and coerce children or young adults or anybody using comparison does very little except possibly raise their anxiety, and diminish self-esteem and self-image, and of course in the end…..often it will cause ill will between you.

In case your wondering I have two ADD children myself, well not children anymore….29 and 31…..so I have been there done this!!! I have been to counselors both for me and for family……it is the best thing I ever did. I’ve developed perspective I never likely would have had, or obtained on my own. I was a Psych Major for years years even during my career I continued these studies… and if there is one thing I learned, reaching out is usually never a bad idea. We ask professionals about everything from building kitchen cupboards to cutting our hair….but when it comes to issues like this, we all think we are the answer….or should have all the answers……..I think that’s kind of unrealistic!!!

Understand please….this is not advise……it is shared only for you to consider…..it is not my place to advise.

Toofat

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