The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › I'm Sad › My wife is leaving me because I am not "Passionate" › Re: My wife is leaving me because I am not “Passionate”
EJ – Marriage is a VERY stressful time for so many people. This may have NOTHING to do with your ADHD, and everything to do with the pressures on two people about to make a commitment for the rest of their lives.
I was married 26 years ago and I remember the drama before my wedding like it happened yesterday. My first argument with my fiancee, almost asking my best man to step down, drama around who’s invited to what and what everyone is going to wear, etc. etc. etc.
You and your girlfriend need a moment to breathe. You need time to cool off and re-think things. Consider postponing the wedding, whatever you have to do to take the pressure off. Remember the wonderful qualities you saw in each other.
Start it off by being frank about who you are. If I were you, I would forget labels like ADHD and talk about yourself in simple terms. If you have trouble talking about feelings, say so. If you are the person who SHOWS their love instead of talking about it, say so. But above all, listen to her, not just to her comments about you. You actually might not be her real concern. There may be something else that is really worrying her. In my case, my fiancee’s issues were more with her future mother-in-law than her future husband. Do what you can to be on her side, so that it’s the two of you facing this challenge together.
Bill
PS Real life does have happy endings. We are still married, despite the pre-wedding drama and my ADHD.
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