Re: Question about my boyfriend (ADD)…

[Anonymous]

Wow. Reading this story, I actually had to scroll to the the top to check the date and see if this was posted by some former account I’d created years ago and forgotten about… Because everything you described — from the tragic childhood experiences of your bf to the behaviour patterns prior to NYE — are moments I experienced with my ex nearly ten years ago.

It took a lot of hurt, and a lot of dealing with my own low self esteem (this was before my treatment days for ADD) — before I finally stopped accepting his tearful apologies and ended the romantic aspects of our relationship for good. Yes, I understood there were reasons for his hurtful behaviour, but that didn’t mean that I deserved the pain. And I realized that the paranoia, distrust and negativity I was developing as a result of his repeated misconducts was making me less of a person than I wanted to be.

Of course, I continued to encourage him to seek professoinal support and tried to be his friend, but inevitably, we eventually stopped talking altogether.

I’ve never regretted that decision to look after myself. After some time on my own, concentrating on being true to myself and growing into the woman I want to be, I met the man I would marry. A man whose presence and behaviour naturally makes me feel even more like the kind of person I want to be.

We all have problems, but like me, my husband works hard to ensure that his personal issues, hurts, and life challenges have as little negative impact as possible on the wellbeing of the people around him.

It sounds like you do a good job of striving to do that too. I hope you’ll find the courage to find someone who does the same.

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