Re: So restless you wanna be sick? Memories of childhood

[laddybug3]

I took a summer course, and most of the stuff was online. I worked with the professor along with disabilities on test and quizzes. One exam I freaked out and could not get pass the first question. The funny thing is when I thought okay breath and go to the next question, I somehow finished the test. I looked at the clock it only took me 10 minutes. That is when panic took over and I checked the exam seven times, by the time I checked the exam 30 minutes went by. The exam looked okay and I turned it in. I should mention this was a final exam, which I scored 99.5 on my highest final ever.

Then there was a lab, which I had a panic attack. That was fun (not really). I over study, couldn’t eat anything for the day, and I was boarder line C and D. I needed the C. A classmate noticed I was breathing uneven, she checked my pulse which was elevated, she was a premed student. So she calls the professor over because she was afraid that I would blackout. I did just that. Long story short, I woke up and refused to go to the nurse and I was taking the lab practical one way or another. I later dropped the major. My professor also felt bad because she could not set up in ODS (that is where I took most of my exams in college).

One of my professors got tired of seeing the page #, date of publication, title, and chapter on the exam. I even included notes, previews quizzes, movies, speech, you named it I cited it. He then got upset that I remember reading it but couldn’t put it my own words, or I had the right information but that was not what the question was asking for. Questions on exams tended to change. My mom would go over ever test or quiz from grade school to 10th grade. She never understood why the questions changed and I could never explain it myself. I guess I was lucky that I knew I had ADD, early. Still, sometimes, I wished I could done a presentations and eliminate all exams, and quizzes.

I had an 8th grade teacher give me a totally different test then everyone else, for the reason I knew it but couldn’t explain it. The test I got was different and I would get so much: rage, anger, disappointed at myself, because I could not take a normal exam like my peers. My teacher caught on and she would let me do the test that everyone had. The twist was if I got a question wrong she gave up part of her lunch time to see if I didn’t know it or I misread the question. I was happy that I want to a private school from preschool all the way to 8th grade, even if they didn’t really have a disability center. Something that my mom regrets not looking into a private school with more of a disability awareness. I always tell her it made me look at the problem and figure out what I needed, even if I felt stupid for asking for it.

My professors use to mention how impressed they were that I asked to explain this or that. I even had a class, that only lasted a week were we took an exam everyday. It was the worse class ever, because I was so stressed out and the professor tried to claim me down. Each test or quiz was about things we should now. The last question was what is your last name, but I didn’t get enough time to get there. That was the thing about this class they didn’t want to extend the time. It was straggles to take quizzes and exams, but mostly for me it was about claiming myself down. The next course was my favorite time management.

I did get help, eventually. I ended up going to consoling center for my test anxiety.

Wow I wrote a lot.

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