Dear CET,
This is a reply to your original post, before I get sidetracked by all the rest.
I’m really glad you verbalized this. I often feel like I’m crazy because I also work so hard to keep this precarious energy/ mood/ focus combination in balance. For that I need to eat right: some coffee and tea but not too much, lots of water, vitamins, no drugs or alcohol almost ever, enough protein at every meal – plus I must eat regularly but in small portions. Just remembering all these things alone feels kind of tiring…
Then, sleep. The hardest thing ever; and it needs to happen regularly in long-enough blocks of time (8-ish hours) — and at night! and avoided during the day, because that screws everything up.
I need sunlight, I need fresh air, I need to remember to talk to friends, blah blah blah.
Balance is SO. TOUGH.
What you said, though, reminded me of some lyrics I wrote recently:
“and you grow overwhelmed, just from feeling everything
and you need an hour’s rest, just from living
out, the details of the day”
Writing and singing are some of the main things that keep me happy and feeling good about myself.
Good luck to you, and to everyone else here, and as always, you are not alone. 