Re: Successful ADDers annoy the h*ll out of me.

[billd]

I need to come back and post again on that – can’t edit as there’s a reply after – but here’s a post script:

A. I posted at night – BAD, very bad, according to the doc

B. I sincerely hope TF does NOT take ANYTHING I said in that post PERSONALLY. No way, no how, not at all. It was not personal.

C. I was only meaning to disagree. I think he’s a really nice fellow – and an asset here – I simply don’t agree with everything he says (I don’t always agree with my wife, either – so we are both human) Maybe I should say “I respectfully disagree”.

D. It’s the Internet – I can’t hear his voice, see his face, watch expressions. Even if I could, hey, I’m extreme ADHD, and one of the “shortcomings” of folks like me (and most of you) is the inability to pick out some of that stuff in face-to-face, so how the @#%$ are we going to be good at it in the written word?

E. Before something bad happens – I want to preempt, insert, head-off, whatever and say – hope he does not take offense or get upset or think I’m slamming him. I’m not. I simply don’t agree with some of it.

He’s a success for his reasons and I really am glad – I think he works hard and deserves it, ADD be damned, one could say I have met with some success as well, after all, I’m married, I have a job (it sucks, but it’s a job), I have a ranch style house on 2.5 acres with a nice 2 story heated shop, 4 wonderful cats, 2 great sons, and parents who love me. So I guess that’s a success. It took, and still takes full days and weeks of almost non-stop work (at the end of the evening, I put a quilt on the machine so Barbara can quilt it the next day to help pay our bills – there really is no slack or relaxing time.)

Creative? Well, I guess maybe some might see it that way – I don’t live up to my own standards there, however. If I was creative, I could sit and design something from scratch – which sometimes I do – but more often than not, I plagiarize, I borrow, I add pieces from others to create new things. I don’t start from scratch. I use the wheels others have invented to build what I do.

If writing makes you a success or brilliant – >

I have written books, I have had magazine articles published. I’ve written stories, my web pages on rust removal have been published and re-published in magazines, newsletters, etc. for many years. I constantly get messages asking for permissions to use them. I published our store newsletters (which customers said they actually looked forward to receiving each quarter), I write technical documentation, instructions for network administrators.

http://antique-engines.com/electrol.asp

http://www.oldengine.org/members/billd/Chapman1.asp

http://antique-engines.com/chapman.asp

But for some reason – I still feel “unsuccessful”, non-creative, and the success of others makes me feel second-rate at times.

I did have a feel good moment last week – I’m part of a sub-committee evaluating endpoint protection products for our networks and computers in the entire state – for all of this state’s government. We were to give presentations on the products we know, how they work, how we use them, etc. We were running out of time, so I only got half way done with my presentation before we had to give up the meeting room. Thus, I didn’t feel it was complete or that I’d really had much time to do or say very much meaningful.

This sub-committee is a creation of the larger state CIO committee. A few days after our meeting, the boss, who chairs the CIO committee meeting had their meeting. After their meeting, he walked past my office on the way back to his and stopped by to tell me some comments he’d heard from folks who were on both committees……. apparently more than one suggested or voiced this thought, but one of the security folks for a much larger agency, he also happens to be a PhD in this stuff, had spoken up and said “you know it’s really scary how much that Bill Dxxxxxxxxx knows about this stuff and security”.

Made my week, heck, made my month!

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