hi everyone,
other men with ADD reading this, please post about your relationship struggles! it would be useful to me and to the other girlfriends/wives here.
I’m heartbroken right now from a recent breakup. short relationship but we knew each other for a couple of years before. we were both in love but our fights got more and more frequent and just wore us out. I was diagnosed with ADD last winter and am being treated (meds + therapy). he was diagnosed as a child but did not get much treatment; did a lot better in university and afterwards and the diagnosis was chucked. I’m pretty sure he does have it though. I understand him a lot of the time, but we also have different symptoms.
he was really hyper at times; especially after waking up in the morning or after sex. (I’m very sensitive and it was tough not to feel ignored.) I’m more impulsive, so I always speak up when something bothers me – i.e., I start the fight, you could say. but I make sure to speak without blaming and focus on how a behaviour makes me feel. when HE got mad, he would say really mean, petty things sometimes. I knew he didn’t actually think that, and he always apologized a few hours after; but it was like he was trying to hurt me. that was a big problem…. so now I guess I’m stuck figuring out whether he is truly selfish or if some therapy would help him be more available and secure….
I want to mention, too, that his hyperactivity was really helpful sometimes; when doing chores or cooking. he never minded helping me out with that stuff, and loved cooking for me (which was great because I never get around to doing that myself). whereas my slower nature was really good in a stressful situation and I knew how to calm him down and not get carried away myself.
good luck, ladies. relationships are tough, hey? 