Re: The hardest thing I've had to confront

[Bettyboo]

I guess the hardest thing I have had to confront is that I wasn’t recognized as having adhd as a child and only until I was 44 did I realize only because my oldest wasn’t doing well and then I didn’t recognize that my girls had it and so I feel horrible about what I didn’t know which I still feel that if I knew earlier in life that maybe I wouldn’t be divorced today, maybe I would have completed my university degree, maybe my girls wouldn’t be left out for birthday parties, maybe they wouldn’t have been put into a special class, maybe I would been able to help my children, maybe I could have stood up to the bullying from childhood to my first marriage to the educational system that didn’t recognize anything or just told me that most single moms have this difficulty with ther children…feed them better…I can still feel the guilt as to why did I divorce their father…I could have lived through the abuse…who am I kidding!!.

I don’t have the answers to what could have or not have been and really don’t even want to go there anymore. I know that my guilt is minimized but now what i’m up against is family – my sister doesn’t think we have adhd, her son really doesn’t have it and that doctors/teachers don’t allow for creativity or room for individuality…it doesn’t matter that we are all doing 10x better but no acknowledgment…I get “well you still interupt me” I keep trying to explain that the meds are for my brain I still have to work on my behaviour…I know that I have stopped wanting to be normall or have to worry that someone is going to notice something different. My ex-husband now is upset that I’m pumping med’s into my girls…they are 22/19 years old and can make there own decisions…they do not want to get off of it…they are stuggling with changing the disruptive patterns and habitis of being undiagnosed has created.

Today it has been 6 months and I’m happier and a lot more comfortable with myself and with experience and time my girls will recognize what they need and will make the decision to change those habits for the better. we all know are brain is at peace and that there are skeptics out there with many different ideas about how to cure adhd the natural way…and well whatever I’m tired of hearing that it’s not real, or it is all about trauma in the womb and that it is about the pharmacutical companies wanting to make money…There going to make money off of me for as long as I live and I’m okay with that because I’m better person because of their so called greed.

I’m a much better half full glass women, mother, wife, lover…etc and I’m pretty darn funny…you really haven’t noticed in these forums but I sure do have a funny bone and finally I’m cool…I hear all the time compared to feeling like a lost child.

I think that’s enough seriousness…what do you think.

Elizabeth

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