The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › I Don't Get People › The Mysterious Rules of the Friendship Game › Re: The Mysterious Rules of the Friendship Game
abbey normal, i don’t think there’s a games over rule unless one or both of you have decided that it is. if you both want to continue, you’ll find a way. sometimes we say/do hurtful things we wish we could take back, right? i know i certainly have. she probably feels like sh$% having said that to you, and doesn’t know how to go forward, or doesn’t want to address it for fear of re-opening the wound, or doesn’t want to shine the light on her own imperfection.
maybe it would be helpful to write her a note/letter telling her how hurt you were by the comment, but that you’re now looking at it as a possible catalyst to improve your communication and help your friendship thrive again. and she’ll then have time to really mull it over before having to respond. personally, i find it much easier to organize my thoughts and what i really want to convey if i write a letter – especially when i’m really emotionally charged . perhaps suggest that if there are specifics that bother her, she could tell you, and then you can see if theres a way (s) to work on those things. or maybe it’s not something you can or want to work on on, and you’ll just go your separate ways, perhaps just remembering eachother on birthdays and holidays, maybe doing lunch once a year to catch up, and then…who knows?
and that facebook comment…..your reaction seems to me, yeah, kind of knee-jerk, i’m guessing because you are already disenchanted with the friend, one foot out of the door of the relationship? are you looking for a reason/excuse to say “that’s it – i’m done with her!”?
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