The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › Emotionally Volatile/Walking On Eggs Shells › The RAGE & blame game › Re: The RAGE & blame game
Hi Wifey – Toofat is exactly right.
Of course we don’t know your circumstances so it is difficult to advise but three things came into my mind when I read your post and these were:
1) Nobody should have to tolerate someone else’s rage. Rage sounds to me like something out of control rather than just a hissy fit or plain anger. Rage sounds horrible and potentially frightening to live with.
2) Rage is serious and if you feel in any danger then you must do what you can to protect yourself. If he has ever been violent then you must seek help. Violent partners do not tend to improve no matter how sorry they are when the rage dies down.
3) This may seem trivial but I notice you have named yourself ‘Wifey’. Now I might be reading FAR too much into this and it might have a completely different meaning in different parts of the world….but where I come from it’s not a great term for ‘the wife’, ‘her indoors’ or any other less than good phrase that is sometimes used. So, is that a coincidence or is that how you see yourself in your relationship? Apologies if my ‘amateur psychology lack of knowledge and insight mind’ is on completely the wrong track. But in case it isn’t then you must remember you are as important as him in your relationship. How about changing your name to something empowering and bold and confident? You may not feel it but…
It seems to me that you have tried to help him and I think he needs professional anger management counselling.
If he has ADHD then the medications available help with anger management but he needs to take responsibility and get help.
So, if you are in danger then please seek protection. If you are not in danger then fine, you need to try to make him see that he needs counselling.
You clearly love this man which us why you need to be strong and see past that, especially if he has ever made you feel scared.
I am aware you asked us how YOU can deal with his rage. The answer is I don’t know but also you shouldn’t need to.
Good luck.
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